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Diary Entries

Tuesday, 31 March 2009

Location: Vancouver, Canada

I saw a skunk last night!!!!! So stinky yet so cute!

Saturday, 21 March 2009

Location: Vancouver, Canada

The weekly forecast............. my god where am I...

Partly Cloudy. High: 9 °C . Wind East 21 km/h . Windchill: -1 °C .
Saturday Night
Chance of Rain. Scattered Clouds. Low: 1 °C . Wind ENE 10 km/h . Chance of precipitation 30% (water equivalent of 0.35 mm). Windchill: 1 °C .
Chance of Rain. Overcast. High: 10 °C . Wind SW 10 km/h . Chance of precipitation 50% (water equivalent of 5.06 mm). Windchill: 4 °C .
Sunday Night
Chance of Rain. Scattered Clouds. Low: 3 °C . Wind SE 14 km/h . Chance of precipitation 30% (water equivalent of 1.18 mm). Windchill: 0 °C .
Rain. Overcast. High: 9 °C . Wind ESE 28 km/h . Chance of precipitation 60% (water equivalent of 6.44 mm). Windchill: 0 °C .
Monday Night
Chance of Rain. Overcast. Low: 5 °C . Wind SSE 21 km/h . Chance of precipitation 50% (water equivalent of 4.44 mm). Windchill: 3 °C .
Chance of Rain. Overcast. High: 8 °C . Wind WSW 21 km/h . Chance of precipitation 30% (water equivalent of 0.71 mm). Windchill: 2 °C .
Tuesday Night
Chance of Rain. Overcast. Low: -2 °C . Wind WSW 18 km/h . Chance of precipitation 50% (water equivalent of 2.10 mm). Windchill: 2 °C .
Chance of Rain. Partly Cloudy. High: 10 °C . Wind NNE 10 km/h . Chance of precipitation 50% (water equivalent of 2.58 mm). Windchill: 7 °C .
Wednesday Night
Chance of Snow. Scattered Clouds. Low: 0 °C . Wind NNE 14 km/h . Chance of precipitation 20% (trace amounts). Windchill: -2 °C .
Chance of Rain. Scattered Clouds. High: 10 °C . Wind NE 10 km/h . Chance of precipitation 20% (trace amounts). Windchill: 8 °C .
Thursday Night
Chance of Snow. Partly Cloudy. Low: 1 °C . Wind East 14 km/h . Chance of precipitation 30% (water equivalent of 1.36 mm). Windchill: -3 °C .

Tuesday, 17 March 2009

Location: Vancouver, Canada

Louise!!!! Ring me at work about sample sale. I can't get through to you on Skype cos your broadband is down and I have held some jackets for you....

If you don't call me today, I will find a payphone in this bloody cold city.

PS: Ice hockey kicks ass!! I have been to two Friday night games and love it. They have blimps in the stadium that drop prizes and the mascots are hilarious. One thing about North America that I love/hate is how over the top passionate they are about everything. Like its totally super awesome!!!! Oh and I do love a burger and beer deal whilst watching sport.

Thursday, 05 March 2009

Location: Vancouver, Canada

tee hee hee.. I am at work and facebook is banned... I am so bored. I am going to have to buy a nail file tomorrow...

Monday, 02 March 2009

Location: Vancouver, Canada

Enough with the dog shit Canada!!!!!!!!! Seriously, pick it up. My beautiful trusty black boots have become the latest victim. I am devastated. But there is no rescuing them... damnit!!!

Sunday, 01 March 2009

Location: Vancouver, Canada

I had breakfast in a sweet little diner on Broadway on today with my now ex-flatmate Jasmin. She came round to check out my new pad and laugh at the low ceilings. The diner was awesome. We had to queue up for 25mins to get a table, which I find very difficult, but I soon got over it when I walked inside. The whole place made me feel like I was in Pulp Fiction. The walls were covered in Coke memorabilia and huge pictures of movie stars like Marilyn Monroe and James Dean. Which reminds me... where is my framed picture of James Dean???
Anyway, it was funky as. Every seat was a booth and the food was yummy. I had french toast with icing sugar, maple syrup, bacon and roast potatoes!!!! So delicious.. and its ok, I weighed myself today and I have lost weight. So maybe I should eat that heavily everyday...

Jasmin is going on a yoga retreat tomorrow, so we said our goodbyes. She has been the best flatmate I have ever had... I don't know if I have already mentioned that but she is brilliant. I am going to try and visit her on the island whilst she is yoga-ing. Then hopefully I will visit her in Saskatchewan or wherever the hell she is from. It gets to below 40 degrees there at winter, so maybe I will go in the summertime.

Thursday, 26 February 2009

Location: Vancouver, Canada

Work sucks the big one. My boss flipped his lid at me today and yelled and swore at me. Unbelievable. Like most bosses he over-reacted, got the wrong idea and blamed the wrong person... me. I couldn't believe that he thought he could speak to me that way. Seriously, swearing and everything. It was a tiny bit amusing! He is such a skinny weedy looking man... think Monty Burns and you would be close. He is there yelling, swearing and pointing his finger at me and all I could do was think how pathetic he looked. I just shook my head at him and walked away whilst he was still yelling at me. What a moron. I started to laugh because of how ridiculous he looked but I don't think that helped.
In the end he realised that I had done nothing wrong, but surprise surprise - no apology. So I am going to start looking for something else to provide me with funds. I am here for a good time, not abuse... plus I wouldn't put up with that at home.

ERgh... what is wrong with people?

Wednesday, 25 February 2009

Location: Vancouver, Canada

I have just discovered why Americans and Canadians are a little weird.. They don't have Blue Light Discos...

I remember being dropped off at the Casino Blue Light Disco when I was about 8-9 years old... I had my court shoes on, ankle socks with a frilly lace trim and a matching Latino inspired skirt and top number with puffy sleeves... Those were the days.

Actually that reminds me, I think I was wearing that top when the house burnt down. Oh the memories that come flashing back when you are forced to hear an Easy Listening radio station all day long.

I am moving tonight. I discovered a doona and two pillows in the room so all I need now are sheets... and I just got offered them for free from a lovely American from the south. I am stoked. AND the fabulous news that the previous flatmate left her Grouse Mountain Lift Pass and I look like her!!! Yes so I am going to do the dodge and use her season lift pass. Looks like things are finally back on track for me!!!! I am not used to things not going my way...

Monday, 23 February 2009

Location: Vancouver, Canada

I have found a place to rest my head!!! I am so happy. I am moving in with a young student who is studying nutrition. I am sure we will have a lot in common. Baked beans on toast for dinner every night is nutritious right? My room is not a closet sized nightmare and it comes with a bed. The place has wireless, full cable & a washer dryer that isn't coin operated... I guess the only downfall would be the ceiling height... The beams are 5 ' 10 '... So me being 5 ' 9 ', I just fit under them. Basically if anyone I know comes to visit they will have to walk around on their knees or risk being knocked out. Katie - my new flatmate is all of about 5'4' so no worries for her.

The fridge was already stocked with Tim Tams and Caramello Koalas cos the previous tenant was an Aussie with parents who send regular care packages. (Lou take note).

Well I should mention the weather... it is very important over here you know. We reached double digits on the weekend. Most exciting. I even left the office for 30mins without a jacket! Some lunatics are wearing shirt and shorts and walking around with goofy looks on their faces. They are calling it 'spring'...

Today it rained... not enough for an umbrella though; more like a soft mist. Well all I have to say to that is... "Enough with the moist Vancouver..." seriously. Mould and moss are not grass.

My shitkicking office position has majorly enhanced my coffee making skills. I am becoming something of an artist if I do say so myself. Can't drink the stuff but sure can grind it.

Right now I am watching a squirrel in my back yard. He is trying to get into the wheelie bin, useless prick doesn't have a clue.

Sunday, 22 February 2009

Location: Vancouver, Canada

Went to a party last night... a "Tickled Pink" Engagement Party for a chick at work. EVERYTHING was pink. It was quite the achievement on her part. Cupcakes, dips, chips, drinks, the whole lot was pink. We all had to wear pink... So on Friday night I hit the thrift store and bought loads of stuff for 20 bucks. I am becoming quite the bargain hunter.

I went to the rugby with Caitlin and Aaron and watched Dan and Jamie play. It was fun and I drank Coronas from a can... yep they sell them in a six pack of cans. Who knew? It was such a drama getting to the rugby. I had to buy shoes for the party cos all I own are boots and uggs. So I trekked downtown with my party clothes in my backpack, went shopping in a TK Max style store called Winners. Very very cool shop. Then I had to find a liquor store and because there are so many bums & buskers in Vancouver, no-one will stop and talk to you when you simply ask for directions. They look at you as if you are a chunk of toe-jam; so scared they might have to part with 1 or 2 dollars. Anyway this guy gave me directions, I got my 6 cans and went to wait for the bus... which didn't come. I was really late for the rugby so I started walking and then of course the bus comes and won't stop for me. My bus driver in Ballina used to drop me off at my front door.

The rugby was fun. Aaron and Caitlin are a great laugh and we reminisced about stealing balloons on Aussie Day. Good times. The game is so different over here. There is no sledging and you MUST be quiet when someone is kicking the ball... Ok so I don't agree with yelling at someone when they are kicking a conversion, but I draw the line at shooshing. The men shooshed me. Not one, but at least 4 men shooshed me for talking when I was at least 100m away from the kicker. Fecking do-gooders.

I got changed for the party in the clubhouse and did my makeup in the disabled loo. Class all the way. I had to walk to a hotel in town and meet up with the girls to catch a cab to this party. I assumed that because these chicks are high maintenance that they would be wearing frightenly high heels... so I did too. 3 and a half inch to be precise. Well when I get there, they are wearing flats and I didn't bring a backup. Freaking women.

When I walked into the party I swear the whole place turned and whispered under their breath "Amazon". bastards. I spent the night eating pink food and talking crap to people whose names I don't remember. They seem to remember me though...

Today I ate my way around The Van. Dan and I met up for brunch and then headed to the Gay Village for haircuts and more food. There is a street in Vancouver called Davie Street, that is the designated "gay" part of town. The streets have rainbow flags on every council pole and flags that say "Westend Village". I think Dan was the only straight in the village.. tee hee hee.. Oh and me.!!! hahahahaha. The council bins and bus shelters are hot pink. Basically the whole thing is screaming GAY. It has some great shops and cheap cheap yummy food.

I went home and watched the Oscars... Another weekend on the West Coast.

Sunday, 15 February 2009

Location: Vancouver, Canada

I am sitting here watching people play rollerblade hockey in a truck whilst its doing doughnuts... these ppl are crazy.

I organised a work party on Friday and it turned into this massive event. It was fun, but I can't help feeling that Canadians are geeks... One of the girls was considered out of control cos she was drinking a cheap bottle of beer... I kept my mouth shut cos it was interesting to watch, but I was like CMON PPL. Everyone left after a few beers and I went out to a bar on the waterfront., and then ended up at a chicks house playing Scene It. Good times. At 3am I had to run to catch the last night bus home and of course I missed it. So I was stuck downtown on my own, slightly inebriated and I didn't know that I had missed the bus. So I sat in the bus shelter until 3.45am... when these girls came up and told me that there was no bus. I wanted to kill all the assholes that had walked past me before. Anyway, we all started walking together and I walked in my front door at 4.45am... exhausted.

Saturday was Valentines Day and I spent most of the day in bed recovering. I went to dinner at Relish downtown with a group of other single chickies. It was a bit flash and I had the duck. Lovely. Everyone should mix cranberries with mash! There were 2 other Aussie ladies there and we talked Oz... Jess can tell me what Abbotsleigh chicks are all about. So now I have been invited to a regular Aussie bbq. Once a month a bunch of Aussies in The Van get together and eat rissoles. Count me in.

I am going to hit the Thrift stores again today. I am addicted. First I have to go and look at a few rooms to move into. I have been meeting a succession of freaks over the past week. They all seem to like me and want me to move in, but there is always something weird going on. Or something they forgot to mention... like the fact that the room doesn't have a door or windows... or that it only fits a single bed in it... or that there is a 9mth old black lab living in the 1 bedroom apartment... aaaarrrrgh.

Oh and I met a lovely homeless guy on Friday! We are having International Lunches on Fridays and last week was Greek. Anyway I ordered way too much and had enough food for about 6 extras. So I packed it all up and wandered down to the crackhead corner. I walked up to one guy and offered him the food and he couldn't hear me or understand me... I wasn't going to bother trying cos he began abusing me. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw Pastor Joe. I see Pastor Joe around the industrial area where I work. He is easy to recognise cos he wears a fluro yellow ball cap with "Pastor Joe" written on the front with a felt pen. Gorgeous. I offered him the food and he was lovely. He said God bless you and told me he would share it with his friends. Very cute.

Alright, I am off to meet weirdos and buy dead peoples clothes.

Sunday, 25 January 2009

Location: Vancouver, Canada

On the eve of Australia Day I found an Aussie bar - The Moose Down Under Bar... it wasn't quite a London size party but it was still fun. I went there with Dan and met up with Jamie, Ray and Tobin (the new edition to our crew). Dan and I got there early and ordered aussie steakburgers and VBs to start - beautiful. They even had a meat tray raffle!!! I really wanted that meat tray... I haven't been able to afford red meat for weeks and I damn well deserved it. I have been living on soup and vegetables and am starting to feel like a bloody vegan. Of course, I didn't win... some big overweight middle aged grub did. I turned to Dan and said "he doesn't need it"... and instantly the couple beside us wanted to be our friends. So we spent the night drinking with A & C from Adelaide. Dan and I were drinking jugs of snakebites and I incidentally was pretty tanked. C and I walked through the crowd and some twit yells out "Katy Perry" and I thought nothing of it... well yes people... these guys were completely convinced that I was Katy Perry. They kept looking over at me and even discussed whether Katy was Australian. Apparently she was performing in Vancouver that night and they thought she might pop into the Mooses Down Under bar for a VB with them before heading back to her 5star hotel room. Tools... I have dark hair and a fringe... So now I am Katy. Don't worry I won't be kissing any girls.

Anyway, so this guy with the meat tray is at the table beside us and after a few more jugs and playing beer pong I start to get my evil on. Tobin says to me "hey katy, why don't you pop all the balloons on their table"... So at 9pm on a Sunday night I jump out of my chair grab all the helium balloons from their table and start stabbing them with a pen... violently. So violently that I stab the pen straight into the palm of my hand and draw blood. The people are outraged and start screaming and try to take all their balloons back. So I run off with my arms punching the air victorious. I am obnoxious.

I hid for a while and then walked back casually hoping that they wouldn't recognise me... The boys had to give them the balloons from our table to shut them up. Apparently the table hates me and wants to kill me. hahhhahaaaa. I want my balloons back.

They had a live band (dressed in mullets and blue wifebeaters) and a DJ later on. It was a great night... the boys didn't dance and when I tried to mingle on the dancefloor I was rejected. Just got alot of backs shown to me... they must have been jealous of my moves.

As we were leaving I ran past the meat tray table and stole all of their balloons. I sprinted through the crowd, past the bar, out the front door and up the steps... the whole time I could hear people screaming out abuse and Dan screaming RUN BROOKE!!!!! I stopped running near the street corner and looked back to find a crazy eyed chick chasing after me down the street. It was so fecking funny, but also a little scary. I ran down an alleyway and hid behind a dumpster... Pretty useless hiding place really when you consider there were 6 yellow and green helium balloons pinpointing my position. But she didn't find me! Her friends accosted Dan and told him that I was ruining Australia Day. HAHAHAHAHAA. Whatever, they have a meat tray.

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Recent Messages

From Nanna Lou
Very worried! In your last entry you saw a skunk. That was back in March and we haven't had a post since then!!! Did you run off with Pepe le Pew?
From Lou
Seen any other wildlife lately?
Moose, Roger Ramjet, Mounties ... a squirrel maybe?
From Lou
Not much babbling a happinin!
Response: hmmmm I guess that means I am enjoying Canada... craziness
From jess
happy birthday to me! AND i now live in lennox AND i have a massage at lunch AND it's blues fest tomorrow AND i;m waiting on my stimulus $$$.... yewhhhhhh..

hope ur having fun babe xxx
Response: Happy Birthday Miss Jessie!!!!
From Lou
Pepe Le Pew .........Two or four legged kind? I hope they don't behave like squirrels!
Where was the little varmint?
Response: in the backyard. I trod on what I thought was a squirrel today... turns out it was a HUGE rat.... disgusting
From Lou
Any chance of sunshine in foreseeable future?

Weather for Ballina NSW
Current: Overcast
Wind: SW at 14 km/h
Humidity: 85%Sun

26°C | 18°CMon

27°C | 18°CTue

27°C | 17°CWed

27°C | 16°C

Of course overcast means pretty good likelihood of rain - usually 10 minutes after hanging out the washing!
Response: It was so sunny on Sunday, that I didn't wear a jacket for about 30mins... and the cherry blossoms are starting to bloom - very cute
From jess
i too have faint distant memories of blue light discos at Mungindi... and i think we may have had matching ensembles.... oh dear... if only i could get away with frilly socks again... it's a topsy turvy world indeed!!
Response: I knew you were with me
From Lou
Good to see Babs is babbling again!
Things sound more positive and yes I here the call for goodies. Unfortunately can't buy Emu insoles at the moment! Remember that squirrels respond very well to, "t-t-tut-tt" A sound made with the tip of your tongue sucked lightly off the front palate. A bit like a call to Skippy the Bush Kangaroo!
Probably best to call them before they play in the wheelie bins.
Talk soon
Response: Last time you did that in London it ran at you remember??? And you screamed cos I told you they bite and have diseases!! hiliarious. You jumped up on a park bench in front of tourists... very amusing memory!
From Lou
And when do you turn 18?
Response: hahahahaha NEVER
From jess
you?? obnoxious?? surely not...
Response: I know right
From Lou
Hi Babs
Glad to hear you have some cash now and that you are getting out and about. However! You may cease with all the shock tactics now as you have me worried. isn't Shilpa the Bollywood star that was on Britains big brother? The last person to insult her had her effigy burnt in India and caused an international scandal. And as for a late breakfast eating burgers in the lesbian headquarters!!!!!!!! You really have me worried!
Might be best if you watch more of the ducks in the pond.
Bronson is missing you too. He sends his love and would love to attrack some big burly blokes for you whilst chasing ducks around the lake - when do i ship him over?
All is calm and peaceful here. Love you heaps
Response: You are going to love my Australia Day antics....
From jess
i didn't get arrested this year! yewwhhh,,. will fill u in later when i'm feeling less sorry for myself.. xx
Response: Well done Jessie.
From Lou
Hey Babs
What doing?????? Long time no hear. Me think Babs having heap good time. Send smoke signal soon Keemusarbee.
Response: you crack me up
From jess (who is rad)
come on, come on, i'm waiting for the 3rd instalment and it's killing me... i have no damn facebook remember... hahaa
Response: ok... doing it now
From rebecca godfrey
heh chik it seems things aren't all that great right now but it will only get better!! my computer is about to log out on me so i'll talk 2 u again real soon. chin up xxx
Response: things are sooo much better. thanks girl
From Katie
Ahhh so there is a way to get around S + P's facebook block and see what you're up to. Miss you Brookie, hope things have made a turn for the bestter in the past few days xxxx
Response: Hmmm I hadn't thought of that.
From jess
p.s. did you know that you are only literally a few centimetres away from Seattle? hahah i used to perform brain surgery with some hot men there at Seattle Grace.. we had this crazy nickname for my Dr, McDreamy, coz he was so fine... hahaa
Response: Seattle is only 2cm away...
From jess
maybe you should actually be a writer, there brooke-o... make sure you diarise your travels, especially the narcissistic bad-attitude bits!! I'm sure it might feel bad at the moment, but it'll all work out... wish i was over there though... also,,,,, what the f--k is snowshoeing??? hahahahahaa xxxxxxxxxxx
Response: yes well this is me diarising my travels...
Snoeshowing is the sport of clipping tennis racket shaped nets to your feet and walking through the snow. Quite the trendy mens exercise here in Canadia
From Antoinette
Sorry to hear things are a bit crap :( Hey - can only go up from here :) Chin up, ciao bella*
Response: I whinge cos you all listen!!! Its all good. The job is great and I am doing fine.
From lozzie
the beauty of the struggle is the power to overcome... it really is true too..

sending you all my best thoughts. especially happy that you got a job, well done dude!! what is it doing? over time everything will settle, i can see it happening for you. I ditto what Lou said, i think you should look into writing, the girls got talent.. you could be a crazy/bitch/disgrace travel writer... think bout it... how unique/niche whatever is that!!! i don't know of any... and bitches always have the most fun, and adventure.. peace out and talk soon kid, keep it safe :) xoxoxo
Response: I am just being an office allrounder.. aka shitkicker. I read the Olympic Creed today Loz and thought of you... just brilliant. Google it.
From jess
love it... keep the good shit coming xx
From Louise
Hi Babe
Ever thought of becoming a writer? I just love to read your jottings. Enjoy yourself and remember 'girls rule'.
Love Lou
From josh
now now. chin up. at least your not 30 (yet)....
Response: I can't wait til I'm thirty.... I'm going to do something crazy like consolidate my superannuation