Learning Spanish The Hard Way!

Friday, 06 October 2006

Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina

I have just found the coolest website for anyone looking to travel

www.wikitravel.org

I have long been trying to find a good dedicated travel page written by travels for travels. There's no crap advertising and plugging hotels with flashy banners, just good accurate information. The beauty of the wiki is that you can edit and update the information, so it will just get better.

Friday, 08 September 2006

Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina

In a vein attempt to keep my sanity whilst at work, I have embarked on a new project - Nestor Kirchner - The Muscial. For those not plugged into South American politics, Kircher is El Presidente of Argentina! The next national elections are due to be held next year and this little ditty is a victory song to the mucic of Rice and Webber's "Dont Cry for me Argentina.

A LITTLE BACKGROUND:

Every damn day in this city there is some sort of demonstration or "Manifestacion." At first these were quite interesting and would find myself stopping and watching them. Now, as anyone who lives in BsAs will tell you, they are a pain in the arse and generally quite pointless. What usually happens is that a bunch of poor people get dragged into the centre from the villa or provinceS and made to stand there or bang drums. This service is in exchange for their government benefits. So, in a nut shell - if I am right - the government ends up paying people to demonstate against them or for them, as was the case with El Presidente not so long ago. He filled a 6000 person venue with his supporters one and a half years before the election is due. God helps us in 2007! I remember one occasion when they were demonstrating to legalize an illegal lottery. The lottery owner would sell tickets to his lottery and use the numbers from the national lottery. The government tried to ban the illegal lottery, so they spent a day protesting in the centre. I am pushing for the legalzation of Armed Robbery, may be I will start something big.

These professional protestors are called Piqueteros and they are very vocal supporters of Kirchner and the basis of the song.

Don’t Cry For Me Piqueteros

It won't be easy, you'll think it strange
When I try to explain how I feel
That I still need your cash after all that I've done
You won't believe me
All you will see is a man you once knew
Although he's dressed up to the nines
With cars and a helicopter or two.

I had to let it happen, I had to change
Couldn't stay all my life down at Santa Cruz
Soon they would realize that I had misplaced all of their funds
So I chose Peronism
Running around, promising everything new
But nothing helped me at all
Especially my association with you

Don't cry for me Piqueteros
The truth is I never liked you
All through the crisis
And the resistance
You kept protesting
I kept my distance

And as for elections, and as for votes
I never pretended its fair
Though it seemed to the world that I won legitimately.
They are illusions
And I’m not the solution I promised to be
The answer was here all the time
Vote for Christina not me

Don't cry for me Piqueteros
The truth is I never liked you
All through the crisis
And the resistance
You kept protesting
I kept my distance

Have I said too much?
There's nothing more I can think of to say to you
But all you have to do is look at me
To know that every word is true
Don't cry for me Piqueteros

Thursday, 06 July 2006

This page is dedicated to the Choripan.
My friend and the best hangover cure in argentina.

The Choripan is a big thick Chorizo (sauasage) in French Bread. It's ia best served with Chimmi Chori a herb and spice and vinegar sauce.

My favourite place to buy such a tempting treat is round the corner from my flat in San Telmo near the market. The owner is rude, rat tailed and has a boxers nose. But he makes the best Choripan in the world which have nursed me through some pretty bad hangovers.

Out of respect I have written my ode to the Choripan Man.

The Choripan Man

Who can take a sausage
And put it in a bun?
Drown it in some sauce and stick it in your tum?
The Choriman can, he’s the choriopan man
The Choriman can, ‘cause it mixes it with love and makes the world taste good.

Who can take a Vacio
And serve it up with pride?
Soak it up with blood and make your stomach turn inside?
The Choriman can, he’s the Choripan man
The Choriman can, ‘cause it mixes it with love and makes the world taste good.

The Choriman makes
Everything he bakes
Satisfying and delicious
He swears that all are son’s of bitches
He even spits in your food if he wishes

Who can take ten tetras
And drink them in a day
Spark a cigarette and tap ash upon your plate
The Choripan man? The Choriman can, the Choriman can
The Choriman can, ‘cause it mixes it with love and makes the world taste good.

Friday, 30 June 2006

Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina

I think someone important might have died Buenos Aires today, but I’m not sure who. Faces are long, conversation is muted and warm greetings are surprisingly hard to come by, especially if your English and still in the World Cup finals. Argentina is a country in morning. They have just been beaten on penalties by Germany, and the shock of this defeat has broken a country. For my friends the realization that they will have to wait another four year to go to South Africa is just sinking in.

The country has been on the edge of its seat for the last three weeks watching its beloved national team hit magical form against Serbia and Montenegro with a six goal spanking and then finally bow out in the worst way possible: The dreaded penalty shoot-out.

Football in Argentina is very different from that in the UK. I consider the English a footballing nation and on the whole we have very passionate if not sometimes, stupid fans. But, it isn’t a way of life like it is here. Football is part of the every argentines national identity and psyche and nothing has been more important over the last few weeks than watching Argentina play in the World Cup. The country has literally ground to a halt as everyone has stopped what they are doing and crowded around the nearest TV. Offices shut, traffic stopped and the homeless gathered with shoppers around the electrical store window to watch the televised game. At work we had a TV put in the office and as I write this I have just come back from a three hour lunch break with the entire office to watch their unfortunate exist.

Last Saturday I watched the Argentina vs Mexico game in a bar. When the game ended 2-1 in Argentina’s favour, the city exploded into life. The win got the team into the Quarter finals and an encounter with Germany. I had expected only a moderate celebration, people would be out that night talking about the game and enjoying the win. But in Argentina, just getting there was sufficient to draw over 30,000 fans into the city centre and for the police to close off three main streets to traffic for four hours.

My friends have described the scenes they witnessed when the national team won the ’86 World Cup. They said the streets packed with hundreds of thousands of flags and jumping fans. They celebrated for weeks and the whole country got a well need boost in confidence.

I imagine things will be pretty quiet here for the next couple of weeks and any talk of football will be shunned. The national mourning process, as with any other, will go though the usual stages. The initial shock, as we are in now. Walking back from my watching the game I saw people with there head in their hands and hugging each other, their faces full of disappointment. Then denial – I assume this takes the form of reaffirming that they were cheated and that Maradona is still the best footballer in the world ever. Finally comes acceptance and the outpouring of grief. I expect this to come when the valiant lions of her majesties England hold aloft Jules Reme for all to see. If there’s one thing Argentines hate more than losing, its Brazil or England winning.

Thursday, 20 April 2006

Location: Buenos Aires

A CUNNING LINGUIST!

Learning a language is about making mistakes and learning from these so as to improve. Some mistakes however, tend to be more embarrassing than others. Below is a list a errors I have made in the course of my time in Buenos Aires:

Pajaro = Bird
Pajero = Wanker / Masturbator
His one didn't go down to well on a park bench with an elderly lady sitting next to me.

Te Estoy Cachando = I am kidding
Estoy Cachondo = I am horny
Not a good line to use when you meet a girl for the first time in a bar and try and tell her a joke.

Concha = Shell
Concha = Argentine slang for the female sexual organ. However, shell for most of South and Central America. Hence the error. Equivalent to c#@t in English.
Again, families on the beach don’t really appreciate this kind of comment, especially with young children around.

Coger – Verb to take? So I thought.
Cojer – To f@#k in Argentina.
Once again, not one to use in the bar after you have already said estoy cachonda and then try and say “I take it back.”

Tengo Miedo – I am scared
Tengo Mierda – I have shit!
Used once in office as a joke and received a lot of laughter. I thought I was being humorous until I was told by someone what I had said.

Basta – Stop!
Bosta – Horse shit!
Not a great plan to stand up in the middle of a busy bus when you have just missed your stop and run to the front shouting Bosta! Bosta!

Te da fiaca - You are lazy
Tetas fiaca - Lazy tits
This gem was said to my co-worker. I had mispronounced the phrase and directed the comment to a completly different and wholely inappropriate thing. She laughed it off.

I am sure in the process of my time learning Castellano there will be plenty more humorous cockups on my behalf.

Tuesday, 07 March 2006

Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina

U2 could help end poverty, just as long as the poor are willing to pay for it.

Could Bono be the new son of God? Energetically beating his drum to a screaming hoard of adoring fans, the front man of U2 whips the porteno crowd into a frenzy not seen in Buenos Aires since Robbie Williams bared his arse from the balcony of the Four Seasons Hotel . As the atmosphere intensifies people begin collapsing all around me and are carried out by Bono’s minions. His message is simple - coexistence and tolerance is the answer to the world’s problems. Muslims, Jews and Christians living together in harmony. Is Bonology the answer to your prayers?

The vertigo road show landed in BsAs this week to thrill expectant crowds with the usual U2 flair and extravagance. The River Plate stadium overflowed with almost 70,000 cheering fans, some of which had queued up over night to be the first in.

I bought my ticket for the concert just before Christmas determined not to miss out on the opportunity to see one of the best live acts in the world. Opportunities of this kind in the UK are always few and far between and it’s not uncommon for an entire tour to sell out in a matter of hours.

Needless to say I was extremely excited at the prospect and left work early to join the queue. Franz Ferdinand were supporting and as an added bonus I went to see them play a solo gig the night before at Luna Park, an indoor arena with about three thousand in attendance. They played an energetic gig which set a lively tone for the U2 show the next day.

The stadium was an incredible spectacle, packed to the rafters with fans happily entertaining themselves during the interval with one of the most impressive Mexican waves I have ever seen. In a cloud of smoke U2 came on to a thundering applause with Bono dressed in the colors of the Argentine flag to start what turned out to be one of the best live shows I have ever seen. The back drop of a sixty foot lights screen and TV monitors helped to vertically challenged Argentines catch a glimpse of Bono in all his extravagant glory. Like many front men of cult groups (e.g. David Karesh – Wako, Texas), Bono’s skill in manipulation and control was impressive. He had the entire stadium in the palm of his hand for two and half hours and did with them as he saw fit. He would only have to lift an arm in the air and a sea of hands followed.

As a concert in its own right it was fantastic, but the underlying political message reeked of hypocrisy. In his opening message to the fans, in Spanish, Bono said “Gracias por darnos una gran vida. Gracias por esperarnos después de haber pasado momentos tan difíciles y que han sido superados por la nueva Argentina" or “Argentines have gone through difficult times, but these have been overcome by a new Argentina" U2’s last concert in Argentina was when the peso was fixed one to one with the dollar back in 1999 and they charged around USD$50 a ticket. Seven years later they returned, and were charging the equivalent sum of around ARG$160 per ticket. If Bono wanted to show his support and help the country, he should have done so when the country needed U2 the most, during the crisis when almost 50 per cent of the population were living below the poverty line. Showing up when the job is well on the way to be being completed, saying well done lads, good work, is too little too late in my opinion.

Subliminal messages flashed on the screen, denouncing the exploitation and encouraged help and unity for the poorest nations in the world. We have all seen Bono campaigning with world leaders to help end poverty and even before the show, he was invited to visit President Kirchner at the Casa Rosa. Argentina still has a long way to go in terms of development. The average monthly income remains only ARG$800 per month, about USD$260. Yet, when U2 come to Buenos Aires they seems to be perfectly happy charge what equates to almost a quarter of the average monthly national salary as an entrance fee. How does this exactly help the poor? To me, this doesn’t sound like a man trying to help out a poor and developing nation. When it comes down to it, making dollars is still what it’s all about. You can schmooze and talk to as many world leaders as you like and even be nominated for a Nobel prize, but unless you practice what you preach you will always be a hypocrite.