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SWAMPDONKEY'S TRAVEL ADVENTURES

Welcome to Swamp Donkey's Travel Adventures. Here is where I will be keeping a record of my travels for all of you to read. Please feel free to leave a comment for me. If I have time in between discovering new places and meeting new people I will reply to them!

Diary Entries

Sunday, 16 July 2006

Location: Newcastle, UK

Not raining today but still freezing and still digging foundations out all day. Fish n chips for lunch again. Quite night at home.

Friday, 17 March 2006

Location: Newcastle, UK

Snowing again today got to job half foundation had collapsed so more digging and more fish n chips for lunch. Finish early on fridays at 3.30 and the boss takes us down to the pub and shouts us beers. Stayed there til 7 went home and freshen up and went to the village with boss (Neil) and wife (Linda). Its called the village cause theres about 5 or so pubs and clubs all in a little area. Went to the Blagdon first had afew pints there then village club then the plough. Left there went back to the burton where we were arm wrestling for beers didnt have to pay for a beer alnight. Didnt lose an arm wrestle. Burton normally closes at 12 but they had a lock in where they lock the doors and keep serving drinks. left there about 2 and went back to Neil and Lindas house where Linda cooked up the biggest feed u have ever seen. From chips to toasted sangas to chicken and pies. Kept drinking there til about 4 and then went home.

Wednesday, 15 March 2006

Location: Newcastle, UK

Shit day, light drizzle, bloody freezing, still digging foundations out all day fish n chips for lunch again. Quite night at home.

Tuesday, 14 March 2006

Location: Newcastle, UK

Got up this smornin no snow wich was a relief,made shore i had plenty of clothes on tho.Started a new job 2day, 2 storey exstension.So we had 2 demolish the old conservatory first.Met the labourer whos name was dowsa & the brickie whos name was mick also really nice lads.Had the conservatory down by lunch.Fish & chips again 4 lunch.After lunch started diggin foundations.The council plans said it had 2 b 6 ft deep wich blew me away cause it was 8mx4mx4m & 600mm wide & the biggest thing was that we were all diggin it by hand.Didnt even put a dint in it first day.Same old storey quite nite in early dinner early 2 bed.

Monday, 13 March 2006

Location: newcastle, UK

Got up 4 1st day at work bloody freezin looked out the window & it was snowin heard on telly it was 2 degrees.Went round 2 boss's house 4 8 o'clock start.He only lives 4 doors down so its nice & handy.First job was a fascia & gutters renewal 2 storeys up.Think i was a bit under dressed tho cause half an hour into it i was bloody frozen,only had 1 pair of long pants,shirt,jumper,jacket& bini the other lads had snow jackets on & 2 pairs of long pants.1 was the boss's son whos name was michael & the other was the boss' wifes cousin whos name was paul both of them really nice lads.Luckerly 4 me the boss took me 2 another job wich was indoors doin a bit of plasterin.Finished that tho & he took me bak 2 help the lads via the chipy wich is what they call the fish & chip shop were obviously i got fish & chips 4 lunch,really nice 2 & dont hav 2 wat long like u do in oz.Anyway got bak 2 other job 2 help lads finish off.Got up on scaffold with them,dodgee as no hand rails, no nothin about 5 degrees colder up there.Just helped put the rest of the gutterin up then put the slates bak on wich r tiles.4 slates in & i thort my fingers were gunna snap never been so cold in all my life got threw it tho i think it only took 3 hours 4 my fingers 2 thore out must of been very close 2 frost bite,also 4got 2 say that the people that u work 4 r really nice & make u a cupa every few hours & biscuits,think i drank more coffee 2day than i have in the last year.Finish at around 430,went home had early dinner went 2 bed about 9.

Sunday, 12 March 2006

Location: Newcastle, UK

Got up boot lunch time back down 2 burton 2 watch man u match.Atmosphere in pub like uve never seen b4.Unfortunately we lost.Got mortal again wich means drunk over here.Met some lads that offered me 2 live with them 4 nothin cause they couldnt believe my uncle was chargin me 50 quid wich was quite funny cause they took the piss out of him all nite.1 of them said 2 move in with him & his girlfriend & i met her & she was flirtin with me all nite mind u shes 25 & hes 45,so at the end of the nite she came up 2 me & gav me a kiss on the cheek & said good nite the next thing i new was that her boyfriend came over & just started swingin at me.He was pretty mortal so i just ducked them & giv him the old throat grab & told him 2 wake up 2 himself, 1 min ur tellin me 2 move in with ya the next ur swinging at me.So after that i thort i should of said "so can i still move in with ya".I thort great 1st week & ive got lads swinging at me already,not a good start.

Saturday, 11 March 2006

Location: Newcastle, UK

Went in 2 the toon & bort sum Newcastle united gear & had a look around.Went 2 jesmond 4 a drink with the 2 susans,colin & peter 2 a place called ozbournes only when happy hours on.U order ur drinks & giv u a buza 2 press & uve got the chance 2 get them 4 free,half price,a pound or full price.We just let peter 2 do it cause he either gets em 4 free or a pound.Stayed there till happy hour finished then went in2 the toon 2 a place called buffalo joes.U get at least 5 hens partys in there every sat nite.The lass's b hind the bar also get up on the bar & dance in there cowgirl outfits.Stayed there 4 a few hours & then headed back 2 the burton were i met my boss.Met heaps more people. geordies r the friendliest people u could ever met just hard 2 understand.Burton closes at 12 but they hav a lock in till the last man standin pretty much.cant remember 2 much more.

Friday, 10 March 2006

Location: Newcastle, UK

Sleeped most of the day. uncle came home so he took me round 2 his local wich is called the burton.Same old storey every1 lookin at me.Met a few lads but it was really hard 2 understand them.Only had a couple of pints wich was good cause they were takin the absolute piss out of me.Ended up goin 2 a social club in Gateshead were we met my uncle peter 4 a few pints.Walked in & it was all blokes not 1 lass at all & u wouldnt believe it but they were all starrin at me again.Tried a pint of john smiths & it tasted like cat piss not that ive tried it b4.Then got introduced 2 newcastle brown ale & havent looked back.They call it the loopy juice cause it obviosly sends u loopy, mind u what alcoholic drink doesnt.So come out of there pretty squizzed & went back 2 me uncles 2 c my aunty susan & drink more,cant remember the rest.

Thursday, 09 March 2006

Location: Newcastle, UK

Pretty much did the same as the day b4 except got the courage up 2 walk down 2 the shops.Got there & it was like every1 was lookin at me, absolutley shittin my self so i just got a few pies & went home & ate them & crashed out again.

Wednesday, 08 March 2006

Location: Newcastle, UK

Didnt even leave the house mind u pretty much slept & ate all day mind u it was still freezin & rainin.

Tuesday, 07 March 2006

Location: London, UK

Got off plane in london,bloody freezin & pissin down.It was the first time i really struggled with my bags,i think the hangover that was startin 2 kick in mite of had something 2 do with it.got the train 2 victoria st had some kfc wich was quite funny cause it took me about 5 2 10 mins 2 place my order cause i couldnt understand her.After that ask 4 directions in 4 different shops & none of them could help or speak english.Then ask a few people on the streets but they were just arogant snobs,really up em selves.Was meant 2 b gettin the train 2 stamstead airport but ended up on a bus,didnt matter still got there & it was still pissin down.Checked in with easyjet only 2 find out i was only allowed 1 bag so i was about 25-30 kgs over weight.the lady was pretty nice tho & only put me down 4 15kgs mind u that was still $190.Same old storey flight was delayed & i was bloody freezin cause i only had a shirt & jeans on still from vegas.Finally got on flight 2 Newcastle.1 hour later was there still freezin still rainin thinkin what am i doin.Uncle colin & susan picked me up from airport wich was quite weird cause i had never met him b4.Anyway they took me home wich the address is 16 mayfield ave mayfield grange. Made me some fish & chips told me were the shops were & said hes away 4 the next 3 nites & i was like shit just when u think ur not on ur own again u r.

Monday, 06 March 2006

Location: Las Vegas NEVADA, USA

As sunday drifted in 2 monday elliot,bruce & linda took me 2 this all u can eat breakfast.Obviosly still sqizzed started 2 loose track of time. Considerin we were drinkin bloody marys 4 breaky totally 4got about flight till the last minute .so elliot raced me back 2 hotel, helped me pack & took me 2 the airport.Same old story late again but this time it was my fault.Went 2 check in & they had 2 ring threw again 2 c if i would make it.Luckerly i just got there on time but ended up leavin my belt at xray machine only 2 get there & find out there was gunna be a 2 hour delay.2 hours later got on flight 2 detroit.This time i new iwas gunna miss my flight 2 london goin on the time it was meant 2 take off but because it was there fault & half the plane had 2 get the same flight they held the plane up.Mind u we still had 2 run our asses off 2 get it.So finally got on flight 2 gatewick london & pretty much crashed out the hole way mind u i dont no why i was so tired.

Sunday, 05 March 2006

Location: Las Vegas NEVADA, USA

Woke up about 11 feelin pretty dodgee so i went & got some maca's which fixed me up.Jumped in a cab & told him 2 take me 2 the tennis.He ended up droppin me at the Mirage which was quite good of him because there was a free bus 2 the tennis every 15 mins & it would of cost me a fortune 2 stay in the cab.Anyway got 2 the tennis & some how walked straight in without realizin i had 2 pay which was pretty good,although i'd missed the first set & a half.Still though got 2 c Hewit win the second only 2 b beaten in the third & final set.Hung around 4 the presentation & 4 most of the mens doubles final which included the Bryan brothers.They also had the World Championships 4 air hockey on there which was pretty funny considerin they had a guy commentating on it.On the way out caught some pretty amazin motox riders putting on an aerial display.After that started feelin a bit dodgee again so i had some more maca's when i got back 2 the strip.Done a fair lap of the strip on the way back from the Mirage & ended up stopping at Treasure Island 2 c if i could get tickets 4 Cirque Du Soleil (MYSTERE) but was unable 2 so i went down 2 New York New York 2 c if i could get get tickets 2 ZUMANITY & was able 2.What is ZUMANITY?A provocative exhibition of human sensuality,arousal & eroticism which is pretty much Cirque Du Soleil with a bit of comedy & nudity.So i went back 2 the hotel had a shower & a bite 2 eat at the Rain Forest Cafe, which is like u r actually sitting in a jungle.Anyway headed 2 New York New York 2 c ZUMANITY.Got in there & went 2 get a drink at the bar which was called Eroticafe & it had drinks with names like Damianatrix,X-Rated Vision,Horni Margarita,Silk Panty & French Passion & food like Tasty Twins,Tuna Sutra,Oral Fixation & Casanova's Delight.So i grabbed a X-Rated Vision which is said 2 b beer goggles 4 the elite & it contained x-rated liqueur,grey goose vodka,sweet& sour.I also grabbed a Oral Fixation which was buttery farm popped corn laced with truffle essence.Anyway back 2 the show.It was the most amazing show i'd ever seen in my whole life.It totally blew me away,id recommend it 2 any 1 over 18.After that went back 2 the hotel 4 a bit of a gamble again.Id had a few beers by then & decided 2 sit down at what i thought was a Blackjack table.I soon realized it wasn't but actually didn't mined it.It was called Card Sharks & its like u pretty much just had 2 guess whether your next card is goin 2 b higher or lower than your previous.Hung there 4 a while cause the dealer was pretty funny.Eventually went on 2 Tabu which is another nightclub in the hotel.Met some more Americans & chewed some tobacco with them.Met some Norweigans that said they were photographers 4 ELLE the magazine.They took a few pictures & reckoned theyed b in next months mag & i was like yeh right.I ended up leavin with some more Americans.Bruce & Elliot who were black & Linda who was Elliots girlfriend.Elliot & Linda actually lived in Vegas so they new all the spots 2 go 2.They took us 2 another bar which i can't remember the name of.I don't no why i can't remember it wouldn't of been from the thousand beers i had or the hundreds of shots i had.We drunk there till the sun come up.

Saturday, 04 March 2006

Location: Las Vegas NEVADA, USA

Hi yall,Swamp Donkey here,thought i might up date u from the very begining.Well i arrived down in Sydney nice & early with Krystin,Mum & Joel,had a quik bite 2 eat,bort sum cheap squizz & had a little cry with Krystin & Mum,but not Joel cause hes 2 tough.Got on the plane 2 Tahiti,had a few Hinano's which is a Tahitian beer, tryed 2 watch a movie & passed out.Arrived in Tahiti on the previous day at 9 at nite.It was lucky 4 me i notice my bags on the baggage belt as i was told they would b checked through 2 LA.By the time i checked my bags through i was at the end of the line 2 get my boarding pass.I finally got 2 the x-ray machines & 1 of the security guys decides 2 pick me 2 empty out all of my hand luggage.He spots my picture mag & decides that he'll start readin it.As hes readin it i here"last call 4 Josh Dinnery on flight such & such"so i piled all my shit bak in & bolted 4 my gate, just scrapin in.Got on the plane & thought i better have a few more Hinano's 2 settle me down.I ended up passin out again.I awoke about an hour away from LA 2 the worst turbulance i have ever experienced, i actually thought we were gunna crash.Lucky 4 me we didn't & i made it 2 LA were i was finger printed & photographed.Grab my bags & checked them through & found out i actually had 2 walk out of the airport,go down the street about 500m & check in.Realizin the time,i new i would b pushin it again,started runnin.Thought i found the rite checkin only 2 find it wasn't & that i had 2 go 2 the end of the line.It was lucky 4 me i asked a lady workin at the airport what the time was & she asked me what flight i was on & i told her the won 2 Las Vegas & she said i'd b pushin but she'll c what she can do as she grabbed my ticket & passport.Within moments she was back & some how got me 2 the front of the line 4 the x-ray machine.Just got 2 the gate when i heard my name over the speaker again.Made it on though & realized the plane was full of kenny's which didn't worry me 2 much as i was just happy 2 have made the flight.It only took about 45mins 2 get Las Vegas which was good compared 2,8hours 2 Tahiti & 9hours 2 LA.Soon as u walk through the gate u notice poka machines or as they call them slot machines everywhere.Went 2 get my bags only 2 realize they hadn't got on my flight & that i would have 2 wait 2hours 4 them 2 arrive which wasn't 2 bad considerin i couldn't check in 2 my hotel then anyway.Found a bar & had a feed & a few Bud Lites 2 pass the time.Finally got my bags & went & got a cab.Told the cab driver were i was stayin which was the MGM GRAND & he told me it was the biggest in the world.It has its own maca's,over 20 restaurants & bars,3 night clubs,3 theatre's,obviosly a casino,a lion habitat & thats not even half of it.On the way there noticed a billboard advertizin that Ultimate Fighting Championship 58 was on at Mandalay Bay.Thought i might go check it out considerin i own the first 20 UFC's on video.Got 2 the hotel & it blew me away,u would have 2 c it 2 believe.Anyway had a quick shower & decided 2 walk 2 Mandalay Bay.On the way i probly only went passed 3 or 4 hotels but it was probly about a k.Every hotel is massive.Finally got there & got lost inside the place 4 about half an hour but eventually got a ticket & went in.The arena was about the size of 2 entertainment centres & thats inside the hotel.Became friends with a usher & barman which was good cause i scored some free beers out of it.Anyway watched the fighting which was pretty hardcore,lots of blood & broken bones.After every fight they where moppin up blood.There was a considerate amout of older ladies there which was quiet surprising,by that i mean over 50.When that finished i got a pass 2 the after fight party which wasn't 2 bad considering it was free drinks.I met a few of the fighters which was pretty funny cause they were actually really nice guys.Left there pretty late & headed back 2 the MGM Grand.Had a few more bud lites while watchin the lions play around.By this time i thought it was time 2 have a gamble.Found a black jack table & put $100 on the first hand.Luckily 4 me i won.I thought i might tone it down 4 the rest of the night after that just playin 20 a hit.Wasn't goin 2 bad when these 2 American lads sat down at the table.We got chattin & they been 2 c The Rolling Stones in the main arena of this hotel.They invited me 2 hang with them which was good considerin i was there by myself.We ended up goin 2 Studio 54 which wasn't 2 bad,a bit like the nightclubs back home except with dancers on the table.Stayed there till about 6ish & then stumbled back 2 my room.What a day,probly 1 of the biggest of my life.


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