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I hope to offer to you an alternative to the prairie mentality, to the stale flapping of the Canadian flag (and yes, I still think it merits a capital), to the bland recurrence of morose vocations. But truthfully if all I can manage is a quick chuckle before you skip to another slick page, I expect that is good enough.

Diary Entries

Thursday, 01 April 2010

So today I felt adventurous. Today I felt like I was going to go and and meet some Japanese people. Or Some Gaijin. Or a bum, I don’t know anyone who might be interesting. I go to this spot labelled International bar. And International it was, my oh my.

I walk in the door and I’ll be honest the first thing I notice is this sweet little Brazilian thing, cute face, just enough meat to make it worth while, way too much skin showing and tits to f--king die for. I’m directed by this kind looking Japanese woman to the wood (may she burn in hell) so I sit down. I try and order a beer in Japanese (hitori bieru kudesai (fun fact, it's actually hitotsu bieru kudesai, so at this point she knew I was at least borderline retarded)), but there’s karaoke a-blarin so i give up and order in English. She smiles and gives me my beer then beckons this charming (and by charming i mean none too attractive) Japanese girl to sit by me. I’ll be honest, I got a little suspicious at this point, but I figured ‘nah, they just aren’t very busy so she’s pulling someone over to talk to me’. Yes I am an idiot. Yes I deserve to pay what I paid.

So we talk a bit, regular bullshit what are you doing here, what’s your job, how long you here. The she pulls me over to do some karaoke. Of course the entire time I’m thinking ‘Garett you were so f--king right, Japanese chics just flock to white dudes, we’re like super glue’. Yes I am an idiot, Yes I did deserve to pay.
We sing a song, sit down again. Keep talking. Other people are singing, she pokes me, strokes my arm and of course I’m sitting there thinking ‘Man I am a charming motherf--ker’. So she asks me to dance. At this point we’re two beer in (four if you include the road beers) so I’m game. We dance a bit, I do some swing thinking I’m so charming. We sit down and I, still a little bit suspicious (she was being way too nice, I mean, I’m sexy but I’m not that sexy) order my final beer. She opens it and sits down again. Moments later the owner brings me a bill for 5000yen. I balk, but say nothing, because while I am a sucker, I kind of saw it coming. I pay and moments later she’s doing her best to get me out the door.

And I though the Japanese were supposed to be such kind people. I will however admit that those girls are damned well trained in the art of saying what you want to hear. And for that, I give them Mad Props.

Saturday, 13 March 2010

Day 2

Went to a metal club tonite. f--k metal, in all honesty. but truth be told I had fun. Got to hang out with Karina and her friends ). Had a good time making fun of all the douchebags but also had fun seeing the bands. The last one had a female singer who didn't even try to deny that she had sold out which i respect. got back and had drunken convesations which i love more than anything

Friday, 12 March 2010

Location: Vancouver, Canada

I commence this blog with full knowledge both of my own hypocrisy and my own pretentiousness. I am pretentious for believing that my own words merit reading, and I am hypocritical for writing them when I have to this date refused to read the blogs of others. f--king deal with it.

My goal is to make this page interesting enough to read. I do not expect this to come immediately, nor do I expect any of you to have read even up to this line. But if you choose to do so, don't say I didn't warn you.

I left Calgary today with a feeling of relief for estranging myself from a city for which I hold nothing but contempt and a certain calmness towards my situation. I am certainly nervous but this feeling hides in the recesses of my psyche, acting more as a guerilla than a hero. God willing it will get itself a motorcycle and a bomber hat and join in on this little endeavour.

I arrived to the heart warming smile of my good friend Karina, who then proceeded to take me on an hour long adventure through the rain. Were it any other city I may have been a little bitter, but I associate Vancouver with rain, and truthfully as long as there is a pint and a warm meal at the end of the journey, I kind of enjoy rain.

We enjoyed some Carribean food with her manfriend Jamie (hope I spelled that right), which I thouroughly enjoyed, and then moved on to some Belgian beer, which tasted kind of like piss and apricots mixed together. I haven't given up on you Belgians yet, but you bastards better start bringing some quality to the table.

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