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Govern’s Travel Diary

Saturday, 17 Jun 2006

Location: USA

MapIf the weird and messed up ghost story wasn't enough to keep me awake in case one of the kids attempts to stab me, I am awoken by a camper doing his best impersonation of Linda Blair from the Exorcist , projectile vomiting at 4am.

Needless to say I was not a happy camper (Excuxse the Pun).

So the clean-up operation took me about 6 hours, which would have been even more if it wasn't for the fact that my mate Howard decided to lend a hand. This vomit was indeed everywhere, on bags, bed linen, walls, bunks you name it this kid hit it. Except there was a small problem...well maybe not small but a huge problem.

Underneath the last towel that we found that was covered in sick was the worse sight I have ever had the displeasure of witnessing. A 6 hour dryig time pool of a brown sticky mess, which had glued itself to the floor of the cabin.

That's right folks this kid had well and truly Shit is pants. How I did not blow chunks in every available direction I do not know, I can only imagine that death could smell worse than this.

This however posed a problem, as I now had the task of cleaning up this human discharge without the help of Mr. Muscle or a severly underpaid Mexican hired help whose only purpose was to fulfil the requirements for his Green Card application.

All of the hired help on camp are Mexican and none of them can speak a single word of English. Thus you see my problem.

However a combination of British Ingenuity and the world famous art of Delegation saw me pass the baton to my American counter-part Howard, who unusually accepted this arduous task.

Stupid American.

Oh Well Until Tomorrow this is me signing off...