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Govern’s Travel Diary

Friday, 25 Aug 2006

Location: A Shithole, Carlsbad, NM, USA

MapWell after we arrived in Carlsbad, New Mexico, we turn into a camp site that can only be described as...Beirut. As we approached our pitch I can only say that I was waiting for Bob Geldof and Bono to tell us to 'Give us our f**king money' as we watched a few ethiopians kick half a football around.

This place was a dump and as it turns out it was booked by our tour guides boss back at the Trek America office which is lucky for him as we all wanted to kick the crap out of him, especially after another 7 hour drive in the van when all we want is a shower, which we couldn't down to the mafiosa mob consisting of at least 1000 moths residing in the bathroom with their 'Mothfather' looking like an insect whose watched way to many Arnold Scwarzenneger body building videos.

Trust me these moths could have taken over a small country if they weren't drawn like idiots towards the bathroom lightt.

This whole saga was however was compensated for by a trip to the Carlsbad National Park, Batcave. Now we're not talking your usual batcave with a couple hundred bats hugging the ceiling, we're talking about a full on Batman/Bruce Wayne batcave that takes you on a trail of over 5 miles through some pretty awesome rock formations, towards the elevators which tkae you back up to Wayne Manor or the Park Station as some referred to it as. In total the walk took us about 2 hours to complete, which i pretty good moving especially in the dark, probably down once again to the trusty Indian Jones hat.

After this epic tour of the Batcave it was off to Pizza Hut to gorge on ourselves on a smorgesbord of pizza based substinence, including chicken wings, breadsticks, hawaiian pizza and their new lasagne pizza which may or may not have hit the UK yet.
We then crowded the van with alcoholic beverages and set about travelling to our first ever drive in movie which was showing for a measley $1 a person the legendary Will Ferrell in 'Taladega Nights : The Ballad of Ricky Bobby'.

Successfully entertained and full we headed once more back to Beirut to attempt to sleep on what can only be described as concrete, whilst being woken up by two animals of the night doing battle like Gladiators in front of our tent and scaring the crap out of myself and Tentmate Rob, or Peter Kay as we know him.

GARLIC BREAD...CHEESECAKE...IT'S THJE FUTURE I'VE TASTED IT!!!