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Matty’s Travel Diary

Thursday, 19 Jul 2007

Location: Vienna, Austria

MapListen up kids, and I'll tell you a story. This story is about one of the top four creations to come out of Europe, behind the top hat but ahead of classical music and big sunglasses/goofy haircuts. This creation, this taste of the divine, is Schnitzel. Now, I know you might think you've had it before, but let me tell you, I would rather eat this every day for the rest of my life and kick the bucket at 35 than eat healthy without. Plus, Vienna's where the stuff's from! Vienna=Wien Wien=Wiener YEAH Education!

Enough of that. But seriously, we had a meal last night in town that had us all soaked in sweat. I don't know if it was the vigorous chewing or what, but I've never been happier to be drenched.

This local place gives you about 4 pounds of breaded pork (or beef) schnitzel with nothing else. Maybe a side of fries, as salads are for losers. As you eat, the staff makes fun of the patrons. It's kind of their thing.

This particular restaurant we were at has a reputation for the waiters being, well, bastards. They are rude, they are quick, and you had better not get in their way. The first words out of our guy's mouth: "You order now. Drinks only." A chorus of "Beer" is the only response.

Anyway, to make a long boring story shorter and less boring, we leave the restaurant. As we walk out, a troop of Japanese tourists shuffles past. There had to be about twenty of them, all in ascending order by height. The look on our waiter's face was priceless. Pure disgust. The staff doesn't even have to fake liking people. Awesome.

The night had it all...schnitzel, beer, thinly veiled prejudice. So good.

It is now tomorrow (is it?). There is a heat wave here, and we're taking care to dunk our heads in as many fountains as we can.

Keep up with the responses. I ain't going anywhere.

Matt