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mr messy’s Travel Diary

Friday, 17 Aug 2007

Location: london, England

MapHello beautiful people,

Good morning and welcome to the 'Danny in thailand show', as this is the first of many msgs I'll be send over the next ........ (I'm really not sure when i'll be back I have fallin in love with the thopught of travel and what awaits me, he he)
Let me just say one thing to start ; economy class 'sucks the absolute puss' when you're 6'5 !!!!
now thats out of my system , let me fill you in on what has happen so ;

Thank god for thailand

My wurlwind tour of thailand had so much to it it is amazing that I was only there for 13 hours. Bangkok (great name) is an wonderful , and lets be serious, f--king hot... and I'm not talking 'hot' as in 'oh, thats hot' I mean, I felt like getting naked as soon as I got off the plane. heat and humidtiy like a punch in the guts.
For any one thinking about travelling to thailand and thinking its like sydney (like i did) its not. once you get off the plane make sure you get a metered cab, on level 1 or 3 to bangkok, because there are ripp off bastards on level 2 who are cunning like vixens and dress like ray martin on holidays. 1000 bardt, it cost me for an hour long ride! should of cost 300. Also once in a cab, and on the freeway, close your eyes, the road rules really don't exsist. I saw a single cab toyota hilux carrying, get this, 15 people.and don't even get me started on the scooters, more than once I was heard yelling at my cab driver ' OHHH SHIT WE'RE GOING TO DIE!!!' when twenty or so of these death traps cut so close to the car that, the 4 people it was carrying, could of struck a match off the bonet.

My hotel / shoe box, was located in the center of kaosan rd and I arrive there at about 6 in th evening. just in time to take in the begining of the night markets, an absolute must for anyone interested funky clothes, pissed travels in bars, lady boys, and cheap cheap beer ;) i'm talking .75c hahahahahahahahahahahaha .
Now I was all for going to sleep cause my plane flew out the next day at 12pm , and I'm not much of a drinker, or like to party (:0), but the truth of the matter is, if you can sleep in the heat you either stoned or drunk out of your mind. Having heard, vier the PA system on the plane 'this is your captian speaking ; if you take drugs in Thailand - the police with f--k your life!' I figured the 2nd option the best for me. upon entering my first bar, I befriended a stunning, russian girl whose name was 'natalia', we chatted about travels , drank tiger, spoke of where we wanted to travel to, drank tiger, drank tiger, drank singha, and then ate pat thai from a corner trolley. then we parted ways (or so I thought).
bartering in bangkok is a must, no one pays full price for anything (except dodge cabs... grrr) the ray ban sunglasses I bought and, subsiquently, lost cost me a whole $1.5 AUS! and so many funky shirts, sun dress, shiney beads and trinkets. Its uncanny!

Entering the second bar, called 'the cave', I met 2 canadian lawyers, one of which was limping, I asked him what he'd done? his reply; 'I sliced my foot on a reef down on the pei pei islands, and then, I smiled at an 'alfa male' spider monkey (which is a sign of aggrestion to any monkey) and was brutally attacked by a 2 ft beast! all the while kicking and screaming 'BAD MONKEY BADMONKEY!!!!' I LAUGHED so hard that I'd be surprised if people in darwin didn't hear me. surposedly, I told its very common, and very giggle worthy.
'The cave' is very dodgy, I met a lovely, beautiful thai girl there, and we got to talking and decided to venture out of the club and find quieter bar, for more drinks. As we exited, I saw my russian friend natalia, from earlier on, she saw me and almost started running at me.... I was Quiet drunk and at this stage I thought nothing of this, until, she yelled in her thick accent ' AND V'ERE AVE YOU BEEN? COME V'IT ME NOUW!!!!' before I could speak, she had kiss me, and proceed to yank me away from my thai friend and drag me into irish bar 'the shamrock' across the way. My intial thoughts being;

* ' My sister always told me don't f--k with the russians! I'm in trouble!' and
* 'HMMMM.... a vodaka bucket for 60 bardt (2 dollars) bargin!'


Natalia, who has a very comanding presense at almost 6ft, flung me into a stool, ordered more tiger beer, kiss me again, and said 'I'm sorry, but 'ou seem so nice, I couldn't let zat happen!' my reply ' No worries, a small cat fight between 2 girls, over a boy is kinda sweet.' to which she smiled cheekly and said 'ges, but not when vone is a boy in dress!!!' the grin evaporated from my face. ' your telling me.... that (has anyone seen 'the crying game'?) that was a lady boy...' to which she smile like a devil and nodded.

Thats right ladies and gentle men, within 4 hours of being in thailand, Danny made a very lucky escape from a lady boy! at least i can scratch that off my list of things to do before I die 'get picked up by a lady boy with out knowing - Tick' hahhahahahahahaha
thank you thankyou thankyou natalia - In my eyes you will always be my angel! the title to this story should be ' thank god for Natalia'

the night continued with much more drinking and dancing, strickly irish, russian and french people thou (haha, safety). so much happen that I would be hear all day just trying to explain it, but I can't because ' londons calling' and I have some sight seeing to do!

I will tell you that i have an invitation to russia anytime and a place to stay in france(met a lovely couple named sophie and flo who live near the french alps and, after drinking with them for what seemed like hours, have taken it upon themselves to show me around france when I get there, which should be a blast!



I hope all is well with every one and you have enjoyed what, I sure, is not the last crazy story to come out of my travels (I was only in thailand for 1/2 a day, i'm in ireland for a month! f--k yeah)
It would be great to hear from you some time, to know that you are all safe and sound.
missing you all so much.

Love,

Danny