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AlexLewis’s Travel Diary

Thursday, 10 Feb 2011

Location: Thailand

It is so HOT out today, I cant stand it! But I should'nt complain, most of you are dealing with cold noses and huge coats. I am sad to say that I am leaving Thailand on Monday (14th), my travel through Thailand and teaching english has to end sooner than expected. I am sad but I also am so happy I had the chance to experience what I did. I have met so many people and learned so much about them and myself. My journey is not yet done, but with,"Pakdeechumpom Wittaya School," I am done. I hope to come back and teach here again, I fell in love with all of these children, the road here was short but very hard. I struggled with things that felt impossible and frustrating but, so worth it. I wouldnt change my experience for the world, cant imagine not having this memory to think about from time to time.

I will leave school in about an hour to go home, take a shower, nap, and pack, then my goodbye party. Most of the teachers and including the director will be coming, it should be a lot of fun and I intend to get very drunk. I want to celebrate and give myself a night to dance, drink, laugh, and forget what lays ahead for me...reality.

I know I am not ready to go home just yet, I am an explorer, I am a loner, I like to see, I like to learn, I like to be uncomfortable. But, It must end and I must face what I have been runing away from, planning my future, working towards something that will challenge me and I have passion for, I need to pursue my art and career.

I guess I dont have to leave home to have an adventure, I dont need to go acroos the world to Asia to be uncomfortable,to learn,to see,to explore. I can do that at home, I have been avoiding that for so long,too long. I kow I like to run away from things when they get tough or dont turn out the way I thought they would, I know thats my problem and I know I want to change it. Coming to Thailand was in my mind an adventure, and was, but also I thought it would cure my problems and my thoughts, it didnt. Thainland made me realize that I am far from my problems but they are bigger than ever, the more I avoid them, the harder they are to face. I have to face my fears back home, and I am not scared. These challenges I will never forget in Thailand made me stronger and more determined to get what I want out of life and to TRY. If i dont try then I will never get them and If I dont then I will get something better that I never thought I could have, thats life and it couldnt be better.

I am getting on a bus tomorrow in Chiayaphum that will take me 6 hours(sucks) away to Pattaya. I will stay with Larry and Khuna again and say goodbye to the ocean one last time and FINALLY take a real hot shower!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!