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Michael’s Travel Diary

Sunday, 05 Nov 2006

Location: Southampton, UK

MapGuy Fawlkes Day

Hey ya'll in the middle of the LOOOONG weekend. Well my weekend, which looked to be a pretty slow one, and one where I would manage to do some much needed money saving got turned around at about 620pm on Friday evening just after I'd had a cheap dinner (2 minute noodles!) After work on Friday (my half day) I managed to procure a pair of gloves (needed) and a scarf (also needed). The scarf, what a rip-off. Last week I bought two jumpers from prymark for £8, and this week I bought 1 scarf for the smae price. The mind boggles. Afterwards I had a haircut (also, much needed). That about filled in the Friday after work. Getting a haircut is hard when you first move to a new place, and I almost felt the full wrath of the hair dressers fury. I wandered into a place called Toni and Guy and asked if I could get my hair cut. They said I'd have to come back in an hour and I said no worries. As I walked out of the shop, I asked over my shoulder how much it would cost. Thank god I did that! £36 pounds for the hair cut? I aksed them to cut my hair, not a hair replacement therapy. And do I look like a chick that needs color, foil, blow wave etc? Anyway, managed to find a place that did it for a £11 which still seems rich, but until I find cheaper, I didn't have much choice.

Anyway, dinner over, and I'm contemplating going up to the gym just to keep me busy on a Friday night when my saviour crashes into the living room - "Hey Mike, wanna go to For Your Eyes Only tonight?". I launch back "What makes you think that I would be into strip clubs, don't you feel that it's demeaning to wom- oh, who's kidding, what time?". Next thing I know, I am out the door, headed to a full night of fun and expense. First stop was the cinema to see the Borat Movie Film, which whilst 'good', is something I never have to see again, nor have the desire to see again. Next we end up at this classy restraunt called Banana Warf by Ocean Village for our 915pm dinner booking (didn't I just say I had had dinner?). Ocean Village is similar, but smaller, to the new area of the docklands in Melboure where the brewery pub is - forgotten name of it...

Anyway, after a second dinner, consisting of fried goats cheese (tasted nothing like Saganaki, which is what I was hoping it would taste like) and prawns, and a couple of pints, we head to FYEO. Now, to me, this is quite surprising. With 2 confirmed, and a rumoured third casino in Southampton, and 1 confirmed, and a second rumoured strip club, I was sure that there would a night spent at the casino well before the strippers. Lets face it, most strip club night in Melbourne stem from the casino winnings anyway. Well, shock number one, £10 to get in. That's about $25 AUD, but i can't think that way now can I? Get inside, and the differences are stark. Whilst it is a classy looking place, it is much smaller than the big ones on Melbourne, and was actually much emptier for 11pm on a Friday night. That equalled trouble.

The minute our drinks were brought out to us, the strippers were on us like the preverbial 'fly to shit'. When there's no clientel, you find yourself swatting away lap dance offers right left and centre. Well, that i show it was supposed to work. Instead, one of the other guys decided that the three girls sitting at our table (the first three that had come up) were going to give each of us a lap dance. In one sense it was cool, get 3 shorter dances, but with 3 different girls. Okay, can't have two guys getting a dance with three girls. My arm was twisted! Another point to note - Southampton (don't know about the rest of England/UK) law says it is topless only, so, it was topless dancing, which again makes for a big diference to Melbourne clubs, and in more than just the obviuos sense. The bets way to put it may be that the girls get 'more creative' maybe?

Anyway, with the private dance done, and the wallet a furter £15 lighter (not a bad gig) we head back to our table and continue our drinks and practice various ways of telling strippers that we don't want a lap dance. The other two guys were already scheming another 3-way dance and figuring out who to choose.

[EDIT - Upon re-reading this, I have edited it to take out the Ewww factor, and there was plenty of Eww factor in there...]

In a nut-shell the guys wanted another '3-way' dance and set about making it happen. Only thing, the first girl that we decide we want in has just quit her job and is on her way out the back door. Was giving us a lap dance that much of a bad thing? Anyway, the three girls of choice are roped in, and we head to the private booths for our dance. Well unlike the last '3-way' the girls didn't change who they were dancing for through the dance. Whilst that normally wouldn't have been such a problem, I ended up getting a 10 minute lap dance with a girl that was a dead-ringer for my sister - I shit you not. In the end, was a pretty funny night and we all had a good time.

So anyway, that ended the Friday night, and my money for the week. Yesterday (Sat) was pretty quiet - very quiet actually. I spent the WHOLE DAY playing video games, except for that 10 minute period when we went and grabbed some beers. But there was something going on in town. It seemed like WW3 had broken out with bombs and blasts going off everywhere - Guy Fawlkes. Now, from what I undertsand, the Guy Fawlkes day is today (Sunday) but they do all of the big fireworks displays on Saturday night. Well, there were plenty of little displays going off on any street corner you could find. from about 7pm till 11pm there wasn't more than 30 seconds with out the sound of a fireworks blast. Everything is legal, and people are backing their cars up to fill the boot with explosives, the same way I'd fill the boot with beer for a house party. It is phenomenal. Looking forward to tonight, despite not having any of my own (££££ I'd go stupid if I had the coin), should be scenes out of an old war movie, only with more colorful explosions!

Enjoy the Race on Tuesday everyone!