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Suomi Je Suis’s Travel Diary

Monday, 05 Mar 2007

Location: Denmark

MapGot a new housemate. The German girl moved out and was replaced by a Polish girl. Her name is Joanna, but she might as well be called salami lady. We came home on Friday to find that the fridge had infact been converted into the Danish national salami storage centre.

I heard last week that Denmark has 4 times as many pigs as people. Or at least it did have before salami lady inadvertantly swallowed most of them over the weekend.

Unfortunately, we have all been forced to turn to vegetarianism in an effort to stay alive. Yes indeed, salami lady is kicking off salami-fest 2007 in our kitchen, and she's the only one invited.
Those who know me will probably know that i have a soft spot for a chinese buffet. Now imagine the amount of food i eat at one such buffet, multiply it by 5 (minimum number of meals per day), convert the chinese food into salami, and you may have a rough estimate of salami lady's daily intake.

She told me that she's only here for 4 months. I assumed she meant that she was here to study, but i am beginning to believe she is merely a serial pig eater. In any case, the supplies will never last 4 months at the rate she's going.

After borrowing some garden tools from the neighbours, and acquiring the help of Alan Titchmarsh and the ground force team, we finally managed to dig our way to the bottom of meat mountain to see what we could salvage. What did we find? Well it was the apples i bought the day before of course. All greasy and smelling of meat, just like the ones Jamie Oliver serves.
Yum yum salami lady. Yum yum.