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Davey Boy's Messages

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From Dave - Sunday, 27th March 2005, 02:58 (GMT)
Sterrit, four - zip, what happened to the mighty Norn Iron?

At least Graeme McDowell is doing you proud in the Players champ (but still losing to an Englishman) You'll have to make up for it at county down!
From Kat - Saturday, 30th April 2005, 14:05 (GMT)
well i thought i hadnt seen you for a while. oh yeh cos ur all over the world ha. ive finally got on my dads computer so i can send you a lovely message. can you believe im still in love. WHATS GOING ON !! it looks as though ur having a fab time bet you have the girlies flocking at your feet?? Im still in my little flat plodding along as usual. You have a bloody fan club the amount of people sending you messages. well im in ya fan club now ha. Good job you give them sheep a good trimming they looked bit hairy to me as well ha. Hope you are keeping ok and still knocking the good crack out ( yeh rite ) if ya need any tips on good banter give me a shout ha. see ya toodaloodogpoo x x x
Tips on good crack off you, whheee!

Check you out all loved up, does that mean the party flat has turned into a love nest?

I've got loads of new drinks (and drinking games)for us to try out when I get back, it should pass a few nights in Star Wars Cafe anyway.

Im going to ride a camel next week, dont know if its the same as a horse but any tips will come in handy!

See Ya
From Freya - Friday, 6th May 2005, 01:29 (GMT)
After I got off the phone last night, I walked out into the living room ( to watch the extreme plane crash show). The was an add on TV for a show next week Dangerous Creatures. The voice over went: 'Dangerous Creatures: Shark attack in the southern ocean, Woman threated by deadly snake in her suburban home and..... Outback tourist trampled by rampaging camel'. I laughed so hard i choked on my drink and some of it came out my nose (never cool).

Hope your trip was a bit less eventful. Remember if a rampaging camel heads your way: Stop, drop and roll my friend. Stop, drop and roll.
Bit of a story there, I'll fill you in on the blower while I decide if I want to put it into the public domain!
From Mam & Dad - Monday, 21st March 2005, 23:52 (GMT)
Hi Dave,
still at no 1 I see, must be costing you a fortune. Yes I think you were in the same team as Sharpy (Clavering Park)so much for Micky Dukes coaching skills at least I had three england u16s!!! Speaking of being a good manager we won again on Sunday 3-2
and are ten points clear at the top. Who needs Russian money?

Love mam & dad
Blah blah blah

England under 16's at netball doesnt count though. 10 points clear, theres only 2 teams in the league and the others play with a bell inside the ball, I should think your top!

I`m just off to change Hostel in Tokyo, will give you a ring in the next couple of days.

Speak to ya soon

From Keith - Tuesday, 22nd March 2005, 12:29 (GMT)
I suppose I should send you a message now before England get tonked by Norn Iron on Saturday! Cause I know how touchy you English are.
Zig and Dodge are coming over on Tuesday and shock horror I am still playing like a tart, at least we have easy courses in Ballyliffan and Royal County Down. Looks like a few days of strops coming up again. Thank goodness I took up this game it's a great way to waste money!!!

Shame you won't be here to experience it, but we'll make a visit to see if the holy grail of turds is still in residence!
Give Stavros my reguards.

Doesnt matter if your playing like a tart, the progen wedge will come to your rescue! Havent you got a driver the same as dodge now? Zig will need all the shots his fake handicap gets him!

Hopefully, in a few days, I'll be smashing it round a GC in Perth, it'll beat being sat in a hostel while it pisses down in Tokyo!
From Rogers - Tuesday, 22nd March 2005, 23:27 (GMT)
Hi Dave,
I presume you are having quite a good time from what I read on the site. Here's me thinking you wouldn't be able to handle life with every day life in Hartlepool.Hope you are enjoying Japan and are not getting lost too much. My sister Andrea is in Tokyo for 4 weeks. If you're there for a while look her up. (email in the address) She'll be able to give you a guided tour. Nothing much happening here. Your kids still stuffing me at golf with his dodgy handicap and Sunderland are top of the league. Playing Ballyliffin next week if they let us back in town. I here from Zig that you've managed to get in a few rounds. How's that controlled slice going?
Will try not to be such a lazy git and try to send you another message before you get back.
Managed to spend my first day in Tokyo doing an extensive tour of the metro, and I was only supposed to be going 5 stations!

You'll murder Zig, Cushy told me he's so bad he's looking for someone else to play with!

Promotion for the mighty Mackems? I hope so, they'll defo get the wooden spoon again!

I was chuffed in Vietnam, I managed to hook a few drives, ok, one went OB but its a step in the right direction!
From Freya - Saturday, 26th March 2005, 08:08 (GMT)
You are such a dag. Great Australian top 10. How on earth do you know about skippy? He went off air years ago. Even the the skippy returns series has been gone for about 7 years. Charlie the wonderdog is another amazing Australian animal who 'just knows', and can communicate to his owners that Katie fell over a cliff and into a river and is trapped underneath a log while the flash flooding in the area is causing the water to rise and unless they get there in the next 10 minutes she will surely drown.
- VB is far better than XXXX
- Almost every australian you see on TV or in the music business has starred in neighbours at some time
- Sydney might as well be the capital as Canberra is a hole. It is the centre of Australias porn industry.
Anyway Im flat out like a lizard drinking, have fun with your aussie slang. Talk to you soon.
VB might be better than 4 X but it doesnt have the cool advertising, 'ah cahn see the Pub from here', the stuff of Legend.

You wont recognise my voice when I talk to you, gone is the posh english accent. Its been replaced by a ripper aussie twang.

Oh and being from Bris-Vegas does that make you a 'bannana bender' ?

I'll give you a ring on mon.

See Ya
From Lani - Saturday, 26th March 2005, 09:52 (GMT)
Hi What time do you arrive at the airport so i can pick you up? And if i've already spoken to Jonny before you reply C U there!!!
...or I could just turn up and hope for the best...
From THE PACE - Saturday, 26th March 2005, 20:40 (GMT)
now then chor.hows tricks? just to let you know Davy"hairy chest"austwicke has had a turn for the worst! tina let it slip that after a session she found him writhing around in agony shouting "me heart,me heart tina,call an ambulance" tina knew it was serious because he still had his glasses on. anyway the ambulance arrives and they CARRY davy out on one of those chairs, the doctor examines him and comes to the expert conclusion that Hairy Chest has wonder he hasn't told anyone, so please tell everyone you meet.the leg is finally out of plaster, now i just walk about like ive shat me self. take care baldy (ive noticed you keeping your hat on in the photos now ive mentioned your receeding fringe) the pace
The fringe is just playing tiggy with my eyebrows, it'll be back soon (been sending Elton a few e-mails for advice).

Is Hairy Chest goin on tour (might be a bit dodgey with a heart condition) just ing myself thinking 'bout him saying " 'ere's me 'and, 'ere's me 'eart " to the paramedic
From zig & claire - Sunday, 3rd April 2005, 14:13 (GMT)
Onlu us! Since when have you had a posh English accent ????

How's Oz? thinking of making it our next hol destination (read your hotmail before you reply!!!) It's the only way I can keep Claire from talking about babies; shit...I think she's got a five year plan!!!
Watch your wedding video, I sound just like Alec Guinness in his prime!

So theres goin to be baby Zigs in the oven by the time I get back?

Ziggi and Claire
sitting in a tree
K. I. S. S. I. N. G
first came love
then came marrage

...go on do the next bit sharpish and you'll be ready to pop by the time I get back!
From Claire - Sunday, 3rd April 2005, 14:34 (GMT)
Hi David,
Just thought I should reply to you after I have argued with Paul for his last message - stupid boy! Ive told him if your mam and dad and my mam and dad read that they will have heart attacks! All I can say is Australia here we come (2006), the year after Canada (2007)and anywhere else we can think of after that!!!!
Just got back from London. It was fab! Been to see Billy Elliot. It was only the second day of showing - how fab is that! The director bought us all a drink in the interval!(Stephen Daldry - the man who wrote directed the Billy Elliot film)
Anyway, just going to help or should I say laugh at Paul trying to change the car tyre! He even thought about digging the garden this morning. (Had to stop myself from falling over!)
See you soon
Keep in touch!
You'll be able to stay with me when you come to Oz in 2006, I'll have moved out here by then (only joking mam 'n' dad) !

You going to have to make some alterations to your travel plans, its a long flight if your pregnant! Im getting a bit worried, I'll be the only one without a kid...Im going back to China to adopt, the free pram deal is looking interesting!

How posh are you by the way, drinking with the director! You were safe but Zig should have kept an eye on his drinks, apparently he's a bit fruity! (with my extensive knowlege of the celeb circuit)

I'll give you a ring in a couple of days

Luv Ya

From Uncle Cliff - Sunday, 3rd April 2005, 23:02 (GMT)
Hi Dave

Sent you a letter about 2 weeks ago and it looks like you aint got it. Aunt Linda told me you're web page then........its good to see that your enjoying yourself. You're mam & dad have been round tonight and he said you are looking for something to do so I have wrote an email to a friend of mine down there to ask if there is anything for you to do while you're there but I know that it is a big place and you may have to travel to get there. Keep in touch.....
Yea, I got a few messages but couldnt reply, the site was down last week.

Im in Freemantle at the min, if you get my e-mail from ma n pa and send some info that'd be grand.

Im off for my first job today, Im grading scallops (?!)

Dont know what it means - that one looks like a piece of snot, I'll give him a 'b' for effort - Only problem is I have to get up at 7 in the morning! not the best but for 14 dollars an hour...
From Cushy - Tuesday, 5th April 2005, 09:23 (GMT)
Now then Waver Waver, make me gas tight Waver!!

Sorting fish eh? I'll have a word with me favver and get u on board the Cushlow Empire for when u get back. I bet u don't get supplied with Stella all day in Oz!!

Tore it up last Sunday like...68 oh sh!t wrong key 78! I won't even mention Raggy Tashes 4 putts! Rodders played with us - he was worse than Zig! Guess who me and Zig have drew in the 1st round of the pairs? Them cheatin t**ts the Lynn brothers! The ones that puff their cheeks out!!!

Well i'm off to prepare for Friday....i've only been drafted in! Office footy team 'v' Sheffield - it shud be a good day out ha ha!! Must of heard of me brus performances!



wonder when our next strike is? might come over for a visit
I blagged the fish sorting job after an hour, my banter was getting like Davey Kings! Instead Im now a gardener, I'll sort your yard out when I get back!

I thuoght you were blagging muzzy? At least you'll have a laugh in the pairs, you n zig will have to do the 'puffy thing' after every putt!

Play Super center back for the Office footie team, it'll give you a chance to score another wonder goal so you stop talking 'bout your effort for Clav Park in the 93-94 season!

Peace out

From Mam & Dad - Tuesday, 5th April 2005, 23:32 (GMT)
Hi Dave,
Pools could only draw
2-2 tonight at home to Peterborough.They were rubbish.
While the reds from Scouser land had a good win 2-1 over Juva at Anfield. Noise was electric, nearly as good as Old Trafford.
Whats it like working for a living? I've forgot !!!
Have you took any pics yet or are you too tired? Claire Martindale had her baby, a boy called Joshua Lee,another "Poolie"
well son hope to hear from you soon Love Mam & Dad.
Working for a living is over rated but its a bit better than seal sands! Yesterday I was a gardener for the day and after I'd finished work came back to the Hostel and a gang of us went to the beach for a swim. Then we spent the night drinking my earnings - it got me at least two pints though!

Pools are struggling a bit whats going on? Boydy been getting beat up again?

Ive been a bit lax on the photo front lately, I'll be like a Japanise tourist from now on though!

I'll 'phone home' on sunday

Tara for a bit
From Amanda - Wednesday, 6th April 2005, 17:24 (GMT)

All is not lost I managed to read your essay before the site crashed - and very funny it was too!!
Well all is going well in the Sharp household. Neil's got an interview to be promoted in his reffin & has also got a Durham minor final, aswell as a semi final in the Northern League!! So needless to say he's happy. So happy infact that he forgot my birthday, which needless to say didn't make me too happy! Anyway think I'll stop counting now as my lovely little brother pointed out I'm halfway to 50 now! Theres just something depressing about reaching 25, as you'll find out soon enough!!
Keep having loads of fun


Amanda, Neil, Cameron & Leila x x
Happy Birthday you old get!

At 25 I thought you'd want him to forget, its all down hill from 25 (till june anyway then its the best age ever!)

Ive heard your going to be Auntie Amanda soon...
From Mam & Dad - Wednesday, 6th April 2005, 22:17 (GMT)
I had to reply, My son a gardner!!! we will have to go into business when you get back,
Landscape gardening, you can do the digging and I'll tell you what are weeds and what are flowers and your mam can look after your blisters. You never know you might take over your grandads allotment, Ha, Ha.
look forward to hearing from you Sunday.
Mam & Dad
Oz is the first and last time Im working as a gardner. The strimmer got away from me a bit and the bloke lost half his roses!

No blisters yet.....
From zig - Thursday, 7th April 2005, 17:36 (GMT)
Now then Charlie!

Don't be goin overboard on the abuse, you may be on the other side of the world but I know people who know people.....

How's things? Interested to see you taking up gainful employment as a gardener; take the opportunity to practice your swing with the shovel; you might hit something!! Have been afflicted by your disease; have got a case of being seriously shite!!! Used your clubs for 1 round while mine were being re-gripped and I've never been the same since! No excuses about the putter tho'; 3 three putts and a four putt with the lovely two-ball, am sure Ping would like to use me in an advertisement!!! You're right about the pics; get your finger out! Am emailing u some vid footage I took at RCDown; will be at your hotmail tomorrow. Poulter for Augusta!!!
Well pull your finger out, Im starting to think my swings rubbish so some video of yours will make me feel better!

My clubs were too good for you mate. In fairness Im loving the way Im swingin at the min, slightly to the left!

Keep your hands off my putter, I dont want you inflicting your mingin' stroke on it!

See ya later daddy-o

oh, where will you be on Sunday, I'll be phoning home so let me know.
From Darren - Thursday, 7th April 2005, 20:32 (GMT)
Well Dave, i'm gonna be a dad. Emma's due october 18th, just letting you know while you're all those miles away.....

might wanna pay this dude a visit while you're there as well....he's converted part of his house to this: /~monkeyha/flash_detected.html

here's his email...think he lives just south of sydney
Congratulations mate!

Do you know if its going to be a oy or a girl? Dave's a good name for a boy and for a girl I think Davina's cool and a bit individual!

Is this bloke one of your Poolie Aggro' mates? I wont have to name the promotion squad to get in will I?
From Keith Sterritt - Saturday, 9th April 2005, 12:52 (GMT)
Hey mate, just a quick on to let you know Lou and I got engaged last weekend.
Marriage has wrecked zig's golf, but hey mine can hardly get blooming worse!!!

I hope you took note of my OLD COURSE score at Ballyliffin! Zig and Dodge had to resort to playing side games!!!

How is life treating you out there?

Chat to you soon
Congratulations, whoo hoo, does this mean theres going to be another stag night game of nicky-nocky-nine doors?

Zig's been strangely quiet about Ireland, did he have a mare? What were the scores on the doors when the reigning champ was absent?

I'm Loving Oz, am and about ready to make my way to Adelaide soon. Its a hard life, doing a few hours work in the afternoon and then finishing the day laid on a beach!
From Mam & Dad - Sunday, 10th April 2005, 23:33 (GMT)
Greetings from sunny Hartlepool, Pools could only draw on Sat. 6th now but still in a playoff place. shock horror, Man Utd got beat 2-0 of bottom of the league Norwich and the super kids never had a game. Is that a bad weekend or not? Zigg is pulling his hair out after golf today in a comp with Cush. Needs his old sparing partner back " Quick" or a wig looks in the offing. Sorry your having such a hard time in oz
forcing yourself to spend so much time on the beach (better than the Bunkers)
talk to you later.
love Mam & Dad
I tried to phone home yesterday but couldnt get through. I had a nightmare with the phone card.

Read your e-mails, Ive sent you the phone no of the hostel Im at and if your quick (Im leaving soon) you can give me a ring.

If not I'll call home from Adelaide, I'll be there by the second half of the week.

Speak to you soon

From cushy - Monday, 11th April 2005, 08:16 (GMT)
Wo wo wo wots all this about dad!! nowt wrong with me like! i think Zig wants to use your crutch as a putter cos that one hes got is shite!! Right I think i'm gonna pay for me auld mates membership - ste raper - out of me national winnings (1st and 2nd) and me masters winnings (3rd and 4th)!!!
Ive been reading the rovers website and from the tips youve been putting up you must have been due a winner!

my top tip for the masters was big Dazza Clarke, yea, good one!

just off down the beach to practice my bunker shots...
From Matty - Monday, 11th April 2005, 10:05 (GMT)
Hello Matey!

Loving your website, think i will spend all day checking it out (while at work of course).

Seems you've been a busy boy traveling the world while the furthest i've been is to Leeds in the last 6 months. Some of the photos are cool - you look great.

Me and Nic where invited to night of food, drinks and the 167th viewing of Claire and Zigs wedding video on saturday night and of course some teacher talk. Loved the wedding video it brought a tear to my eye, but not sure if that was all the old photos of you and zig or the 12 bottles of Stella! He really did have that tash when he was six.
Anyway i think i have waffled on for long enough now mate so look after yourself and watch out for ladyboys!!!!!

Peace out

Oi up big lad,

No really, I think Zig was concieved in Liverpool, all he needs is the tight perm and he'd be sweet!

What a party that sounds like! Surely Zig wasn't drinking Stella though, they must have ran out of woof juice! Teacher banter, marvelous, when they get talking about 'cilla's bus' thats when I fall asleep.

Not many ladyboys in oz but I'll be on the lookout!

Have you signed for the Brus yet?

See Ya
From peter kay - Tuesday, 12th April 2005, 10:44 (GMT)
jinxy, too much time on your hands mate, you should have stayed at home and learned to auto cad properly!
where are the ladyboy pix?
I played AutoCAD like a legend. I think you might be right though, I'd rather be on Seal Sands than in Adelaide, nothing to do here but sit on a beach!
From dave the rave no1rav - Wednesday, 13th April 2005, 18:06 (GMT)
but not as much as I love the super pools, if you cut me I'd bleed blue and white meeeee!
From karen - Wednesday, 13th April 2005, 18:41 (GMT)
hiya dave, just browsing through your pics with me ma n pa. wow, it looks amazing, can`t believe you`re actually travelling the world when you couldn`t even get out of bed on a mornin with out me n your mam shouting at you ha ha. well it certainly looks like your having the time of your life, beats going to work anyway! Really enjoyed looking thru your pics n reading your typical "dave" comments ha ha. You should recieve an e mail off joby1 soon, she said she was going to. Anyway you`ve probably got more xciting things to do than listen to my bad crack. Take Care x x

Ah, one of the reasons I came away was so I didn't have to get up, that might change in a few days though, Im going to go for a job in a bread factory where I'd start at 4:30!

How's everyone?
Any banter?
Say hello to everyone for me, speak to you when I get back

See Ya