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Frankieboy's Messages

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From Jeremy - Tuesday, 6th January 2009, 22:34 (GMT)
Frankie - glad you and the boys have had a cracking holiday in NZ. Really pleased for you all. Enjoy the next stage of your adventure and see you on Orly's stag. Jezza
Greetings from Santiago Jez. I think we did NZ justice! Hope I survive S. America and manage to bring my valuables home!

Indeed, look forward to the stag do.

As you were...
From Carl - Thursday, 13th November 2008, 21:46 (GMT)
Bonjour Mr Wood,

No I’ve not lost interest in your blog, just been a bit busy lately. Worry not I've been keeping up with it, but on more of a low key presence!
I must say that the facial hair is truly inspiring, pity I have to shave fairly often for this contract, otherwise I’d be joining you in celebration!
I do like on the latest blog entry, your comment that you'd considered giving yourself a "week off" from all the fun you've been having almost brought a tear to my eye, you truly are a hero!
And here’s the rest of us slogging through our humdrum lives ignorant to your burden!



Mr Prior always a pleasure to hear from you. I can highly recommend beards. That's if you want to be totally undesirable to the opposite sex.Or is that just me?

Yes a week off is exactly what the doctor ordered. It's hard work all this I can tell you ;-)
From Fran - Thursday, 13th November 2008, 14:50 (GMT)
Hello Wood,

I have spent this morning reading your ENTIRE BLOG. Then I attended a lecture on European Central Bank Liquidity Operations. I am trying to decide which experience was more enjoyable...

Only kidding, sounds like you're having an amazing time and I'm very jealous, especially given my position on you having fun, i.e. that it is forbidden. Very touching to see the unfolding love story between you and your volvo, auto-erotic some might say. Have you considered sitting in her when you roll her off the cliff?

Stay safe, stay happy, stay away!

Love Fran XXX

P.S. I can take you through your numerous grammatical failings when you get back but feel compelled to point out that it is spelled K-R-A-U-T, not "krout". If you must insist on casual xenophobia then at least spell it properly. Ahem.
Ah Miss Watson.So nice that you can immediately dispense with any pleasantries (at all) ;-) Thank you for the Volvo suggestion - I'll certainly give it some thought.Oh how I have missed you...

It's the content not the English that's important!
From Dad - Tuesday, 8th April 2008, 13:16 (GMT)
Yes, it's very poignant. My Mum knew a lad her age who went down with HMS Hood after a battle with the Bismarck. In Oslo fjord I remember we sailed over big oil rings still coming up even now from the German cruiser Blücher, sunk there in 1940. On a happier note, we can match the adrenaline rush generated by a new office bin with a three-piece suite to be delivered tomorrow... I bet you wish you weren't sitting on the verandah drinking tinnies and missing all the excitement! XXX
From Bee Woo - Sunday, 9th November 2008, 18:30 (GMT)
Well well well, it would seem your blog has made it to the top spot at last (haven't checked out any of the others in the top five but can only assume they're absolute dross. Ha ha). Many congratulations plopsicle, you and your Volvo have hit the big time!! Nice work on the pool comp too.

Things here as good as can be expected considering winter is upon us and everywhere you look there are adverts for Christmas!! Am 12,000 words into novel number 3 which is going well. Off to a fencing competition tomorrow night - Pigeon would be proud!

Oh - and have webcam now so let me know when would be a good time to chat!

B xxxx
Thanks Beewoo. Internet here a fortune...Must dash xxx
From Dad - Thursday, 6th November 2008, 13:01 (GMT)
I'm prodigiously proud of the pool champion, you clearly have the makings of a professional! Pity your 'phone seemed kaputt when I rang to congratulate you... x.
Cheers! I think it was a combination of luck and poor opposition more than anything else though ;-)
From Janet - Wednesday, 30th July 2008, 19:16 (GMT)
So you have not enough hair in some places and an excess in others - what do you notice here? opportunity is what.

Take from where you have and put it where you haven't - I'm thinking eyebrow comb-over here, which would simultaneously remove the need for forehead botox and, if fastened with a clip at the back of your head, would save thousands on a facelift.
Think positive Frank - if you keep up the tension you may eventually be able to see out of the back of your head and you may end up with a great beard.........

(old, I know but it makes me works better with the woman and the bags under the eyes)
From Carl - Tuesday, 29th July 2008, 10:27 (GMT)

The unenviable task of making your hair look good would make even the chirpiest of barbers frown upon seeing you come wandering through the shop door.

As for the nasal, ear and eyebrow trimming, I’d recommend the Philips NT9110. I was given one by Katie on my 30th for a joke but I now swear by its angled trimming head to get even the hardest to reach nostril hairs! No more shall I have to endure the excruciating pain (that some consider on par to childbirth) and watering eyes usually suffered when plucking the little blighters!

Many thanks for your product recommendation old friend - I knew you wouldn't let me down! Angled trimming head sounds just the ticket. I must place an order.

However, maybe having a 'monobrow' is not such a bad thing...
From Annabel and Cressida - Thursday, 25th December 2008, 16:59 (GMT)
Merry Christmas Jolyon! Have been looking at your photos here in Surbiton with your Mum and Dad! Amazing - guess you're having a fantastic time. We're sorry you're not here but expect you're not!! Looking forward to hearing more when you get back. Lots of love from your cousins and your parents too! xxx
Will pass on the message!
From Janet - Thursday, 25th December 2008, 11:27 (GMT)
Happy Christmas Frank although yours is nearly over and I've only just had breakfast consisting of trifle, After Eights, peanuts and roast ham. Westlife concert on the telly and trying to wire up a Nintendo Wii.
Living the dream.
Still time to check ebay though ;-)
Seasons greetings xxx
And to you Janet! Tis the season to be gluttonous....That sounds like a bloody good breakfast to me!
From Vicki - Saturday, 26th April 2008, 00:05 (GMT)
Frank - step away from the French dictionary and get yourself down the Foo Fighters for gods sake.

Back from Vagas in 1 piece altho god knows how. Managed a 48hr vodka fueled bender peaking on fight night (Calzaghe won btw) After a full day down at the airport with all sorts of fun & games involving missing bags / delayed flights / passenger suffering mild stroke (!) I headed to LAX at the Luxor to meet some guests from the tour I had helped organise some private entertainment for... Seems they had a few bob and had got themselves a private table complete with balcony overlooking the dancefloor The table was covered with Vodka, JD, mixers, ice - the works. After free pouring myself a few too many vodka cokes I was well in the swing of things. Seems u either have too be an incredibly filthy rich man or super fit lady to enjoy yourself in Vegas (considering Im neither I thought I was doing fairly well.. and luckily could play the "Im the event organiser" card...) Seriously - money really talks. Joe public on the dancefloor were treated like cattle. Seems the score is the guys get these tables / areas with all these drinks and the fit birds circle around cruising for an invitation to join them. After some less than cute chicks kept crashing the table the server asked "would you like to move sommewhere more discreet?" and we were ushered into this secret uber club / back room. We were frisked and had to hand over all our phhones / cameras / recording devices etc. Cant really say much more on planet ranger but boy - one of the craziest nights Ive had in while.

Still up at 10am and missed all my transfers (collegues insanely unimpressed with me) I hopped on a helicopter to the Grand Canyon feeeling like death valley itself. Amazing views (see face book pics) but sadly disappointed with the purpose built tourist ""ranch" we had lunch at. think the chicken was from Aldi...

Hope the painballing goes well. In the unlikely event that you do reproduce perhaps youd better take Pidges advice and get yourself a box.

Apostrophe key still bust.

Seeing Sam & Ollie tomorrow - well try n skype?

Take care x x x x x
Charming as ever Vicki....
From Jol - Friday, 18th April 2008, 00:46 (GMT)
Why no response since tuesday? We all want more!Are you well? Looking forward to seeing me at Christmas? Love you mate! Jol
Why no response to my Facebook msg?!

I will write up some more tonight! Been a bit quiet...Very much looking forward to seeing you in NZ - it will be totally amazing just you wait and see....

Love you too!
From pigeon - Saturday, 3rd May 2008, 00:19 (GMT)
So Boris won!! It's going to be a hillarious next 4 years..
I know! Bloody marvellous! Good riddance red Ken....
From Maria - Thursday, 8th January 2009, 02:53 (GMT)
Hey Frankieboy! Gidday from WA. Glad to hear you have arrived in SA in one piece, after your NZ experience experience..what an amazing journey you have had, and I'm sure SA offers the same extreme thrills & spills... Perth is currently gripped in a heat wave..we have had temperatures of 30C for 2 weeks sign of letting that's extreme. Take care & hasta la vista (i think) Cheers!!
Maria! Hi! Nice to hear from you. Bit apprehensive about 6 weeks of travelling across S. America in an armoured personnel carrier and camping in extreme conditions! Kind of wish I was on a plane home but I'm sure I will be glad to have done it...

it's pretty warm here too but nothing compared to Queensland.

Pass on my regards to everyone...

From Janet - Saturday, 10th January 2009, 10:54 (GMT)
From reading some of the reports about this Overland Club outfit I think you may have had a lucky escape - it seems that the trucks were unroadworthy to say the least (tyres from scrapyards) and that many people had gone hungry because the food kitty money had been used for repairs or to buy alcohol for the drivers. I think it's only a matter of time before someone is injured on one of their trips. You will always read a few odd negative comments on internet forum sites posted by complete nitpickers for most service companies or travel operators however, this lot have an absolute avalanche of bad reports and even specific websites set up by aggrieved customers and former staff warning potential customers off. The moral of the story - Research! "Don't ask God ask Google" (paraphrasing Roy from the I.T. Crowd)
Yep. Lucky escape I think.
From Bee Woo - Friday, 4th April 2008, 11:53 (GMT)
Thanks for your text Plop, sounds like you're settling in really well in spite of the trials and tribulations you've encountered so far!! Am so proud of you!! Miss u lots x
Thanks Beewoo. Doing ok. Touch wood (self) Missing you too sob sob xxx
From H (ex boss) - Saturday, 5th April 2008, 21:12 (GMT)
Pumpkin Chops

At last I have got up to date with your blog! How proud I am to get a mention!! And even more glad that you announce to the entire world that you have inappropriate thoughts about me! Tim (Husband - who up until that point thought that our relationship was purely professional) says Hi and can't wait to catch up with you. Not sure what he meant by that but last seen was polishing his weapon!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, I am missing you terribly pumpkin chops. Having to make my own tea which is a terrible state of affairs. However, this is counter-balanced by the fact that there are biscuits left in the cookie jar!

Hope you're remembering to change your pants - socks wouldn't go a miss either. Nice girls don't like men in dirty pants.

Stay away from the botanical gardens! They were designed for a different generation.

Love you heaps, miss you. H'y xxxxxxx big snogs
It's purely platonic Tim! I wouldn't want to ruin a beautiful friendship! Missing you too.Nice to have a long chat with you last night (at my great expense!) I'm sure it's not the same without me - the tea boy! Will try and remember to put fresh pant/socks on ;-) Really missing working there terribly ( ;-) )

Going to ignore you on the bot gdns front! They are jolly nice. Everyone needs a vice!

From Leony Pony - Sunday, 6th April 2008, 10:41 (GMT)
Hey Franky! finally caught up with your blog. what an entertaining read. See travelling hasn't changed your oh so optimisitc outlook....yet!!! Things are lookin good job, possible new flat. Worth finding a room and a place that you like so keep looking if first one you come across isn't what you're after. hope the sun comes back out to play...leon xxx
Thanks Leon Pon. I'm the very pinnacle of optimism - always. Hmm. Things going ok except on the women front but no change there. I'm holding out for you of course...

From Carl - Wednesday, 9th April 2008, 16:02 (GMT)
Frankus ya flamin Gallar,

Glad work is going ok, if not slightly boring, although saying that i'm not sure why you're surprised that office work is dull. It's not all "Buy gold, sell silver" you know!

Anyway i do hope everything’s going to plan. Haven't spoken to you in a while, it seems you don't go online anymore. This is probably a good thing as it must mean you're not sat in your room alone...either that or there's a couple in the bed next to your bunk having 'sexy time' most of the time.

Try and catch up with you this weekend at some point.

Stay good

P.S. Couldn't believe you didn't put up that rather remarkable song I thought up for you (and had the good grace to sign from your Mum)!
Dull and boring = good. Getting punched in the face at work = v. bad.

I am online but because of the enormous time difference (7 hours ahead remember) when you finish work it's midnight here!

Oh that ridiculous song was from you was it?!!! I should have guessed.
From Janet - Wednesday, 9th April 2008, 18:13 (GMT)
Keep it going Frank - we are loving the latest episodes from Wernham-Hogg. How about introducing all of your 'messageers' - I only know Helen (and I'm guessing 'Dad' might be your dad?). A quick biog will help us to recognise each other when you throw your big homecoming party next Feb.
Have you got your own stapler yet?
It's all go here. No one has put my stapler in jelly yet so that's good.

Good idea. I think in terms of my blog at the moment it's silly season so that's good thinking.I'll have a think...
From pigeon - Wednesday, 9th April 2008, 19:31 (GMT)
As a staunch Thatcherite, I wouldn't have thought you would stoop to industrial action...

Anway, still reading- especially interested in the local history angle (being a history geek).

I'm off to twork at he University of Virginia for 5.5 weeks next wednesday, then meeting Rob, Carl and Katy for some serious partying- NYC style. Really looking forward to it- will equally enjoy sending the entire bill to Birmingham University. Not sure how many bar tabs I can get away with though!

You seem to be doing brilliantly; as I said a while back- will we see you again?

p.s that email you sent was hillarious.
Glad you appreciated the local history - I actually thought you would. Sounds like a bloody good jolly funded by UB.Nice.Carl and I went to NYC. Glad you liked the deleted blog entry!
From Dad - Thursday, 10th April 2008, 07:45 (GMT)
"Oh it's lonesome away from your kindred and all / By the campfire at night where the wild dingos call, / But there's nothin' so lonesome, so dull or so drear/ Than to stand in the bar of a pub with no beer". Older readers may recall that Australian song which always seemed to be on the radio in the 1960s... So all things are relative, Frank - you may have no shoes and some livestock in the bed, but at least there's still Toohey's Extra Dry at the bottle shop! XXX
Where on Earth do you pull these from?!!!!

See post - not a happy chappy.
From - Thursday, 10th April 2008, 15:18 (GMT)
That's a top quality rant, Frank! Top marks for sense of injustice and outrage. Good excercise in anger management though- well done for not smacking him!

Anway, at least you don't have to go back. Is that 2x $50 you are paying, or 2x$25? Surely a hotel wouldn't be much more..

At least you have some sympathic friends (in Oz I mean!)

Hope it all works out. Sleep tight- don't let the bed bugs bi....(sorry)

pigeon and anna
2 x $25 a night...You're probably right - a hotel wouldn't' be much more!

Very funny.....I was waiting for someone to crack that one!
From - Thursday, 10th April 2008, 16:16 (GMT)

Chortle and indeed guffaw!
I bet they’re not even good old English bed bugs, probably from some sweaty traveller…possibly a German or worse (gulp) a Frenchie!!!
Oh the thought of you sat there in the heat, psychologically scarred and scratching like buggery makes me titter like a schoolgirl!

Anyway…you’re well out of it by the sound of things, and a big plus it’s nearly the weekend :)

Bloody French/Germans. You can't get away from the Germans here!

Indeed. That does not kill me makes me stronger. God I am turning into my dad wheeling that one out...

More later...
From Bee Woo - Friday, 28th November 2008, 11:45 (GMT)
SO lovely to speak to you last night Plop Head, hope you're hanging in there and your ticker's behaving itself. I'm sure Poly will be there just as soon as he can to wait on you hand, foot and finger (yeah right!)

Loved this part of the doctor's note btw: Many thanks for your care of this pleasant though stressed young man - not sure what's funniest, the 'pleasant though stressed' bit or the reference to you being 'young'! Ha ha, only joking ;-)

On a serious note, please take care of yourself and don't over do it - would strongly advise, in the short term at least, that you avoid doing any activities that are, in your own words 'Not for the faint hearted'

I want to see you back here in one piece in February Mister!!

Miss you xx
It was great to talk to you too. Sorry if the full on ginger beard was a bit of a shock!

Yes I am old and infirm now. One foot in the grave... I hope to make it back in Blighty by Feb but the grim reeper is after me. He's not getting his hands on me just yet though ;-)

Miss you, love you xxx