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"Herroooo........where are you goooiiinnngggg"

How shit and annoying are group emails that woffle on for ages about crap you really don't give a shit about!! so we've set this up so you can check what we're up to only if you want. Trust me you're gonna wanna check regularly coz 2days in so much funnies have happened!!

So after careful advice including "make sure you keep your giney clean" from bec's mum, we've headed off on our journey.

Starting in Philippines,then to Amsterdam, then 6wks in africa. Travellers include Mikey, Twot, Coats and Tizza.
Please leave us a msg when you can, but make sure specify who its for if its only for one of us. Also write your name so we know whos its from!!

Diary Entries

Friday, 12 January 2007

Location: Song of the month:, Mozambique

Song of the month:

Eat a dick
Eat a dick


Friday, 12 January 2007

Location: Song of the Month, Mozambique

Song of the Month:

Eat a dick
Eat a dick

Friday, 12 January 2007

Location: Tofinos, Mozambique

Still in Mozambique. Staying on a cliff at Tofinos. Pretty good, it's $8 each per night for the best views and a fully furnished house.

Mozam is all about beaches, seafood and $3 bottles of Tipo Tinto (african rum). Lucky for us there has been a cyclone swell which came from Madagascar so there was 4-5 ft surf at the point in front of our house. We have had our feet cut up jumping off the rocks but other than that it's been good.

A couple of nights ago we went to a beach house party and were having beer bongs through a snorkel. Mike ate 5 of the hottest chillies ever and a raw prawn, and spewd it all up, and woke up on the cliff. No wonder he shat 6 times the next day, and burnt his ring off.

To add to his war zone, Mike came off the back of a ute the other day when we were scabbing a lift to get to the surf. The guy took a sharp turn and Mike lost his grip and fell on the road. Took chunks out of his hand, knee and ankle while sliding metres across the gravel.

The day after the party we went on a ocean safari to swim with the whale sharks but we didn't find any whale sharks we all just vomited our alcohol bellies off the side of the boat the whole time. As soon as Mike started spewing Leah and Al were over. Interesting way to spend $55. Africa has defeated our iron guts, more spew than ever in our lives.

We have a heap of Saffies staying in the house next door to us, our age and they're awesome. They're from Jo'burg and we are organising to go out with them the night before we leave for OZ. Part of the experience ey?

We've met so many cool South Africans along the way it's ridiculous. Two of our friends from Cape Town just got engaged so we went over to the best house we've ever seen last night for celebration dinner. Was good as we were all quite empty stomached after the day time.

Girls we are planning our next trip to Safrica to get husbands, they are all hot and rediculously nice.

Mike's belly has become so weak that he dry reaches over anything. For instance, on the flight from Tanzania to Maputo 2 Bangladesh -ians thought they had become friends with Mike n Mitch. They sat in front of us, Mike sat down, looked at Mitch and said "can you smell that?". It was the worst smell ever. Mike began the dry reaching. We had to change seats. Even thinking about that smell makes him queasy. So funny.

Were going Deep Sea Fishing tmoro hopefully. I think that every one of you would love Mozambique we highly recommend it. Piss cheap, safe and coastal - just don't step on a landmine.

We get back on the 19th Jan, landing at about 2.35pm, but will be with families for that night I suppose.

FACT: Apparently 1 in 20 mozzies in Mozam is carrying Malaria. Bit scary.
FACT: Mike n Leah won the world series of 500 against Al n Mitch.

Wednesday, 03 January 2007

Location: Zanzibar Island, Tanzania

Zanzibar was our destination for new years.

On NYEve Eve we saw a new side to Mitch Braund. Didn't think he'd ever come up with something so creative and freaky.

OK, so he and Mike were shitfaced. Mike's out of sight and Mitch is hooking up with this Bohaemith German chick. She was hot but she was huge. He stopped, turned to us 3 girls and said with a smirk


Put his hand down her pants and ripped out a large tuft of pubes, pulled it out and waved it in the air laughing. It was so shocking that there was no laughing until atleast a few hours past. Well done Mitch, so original. He spent the next 3 nights trying to find the poor girl cos he doesn't remember it at all.

* Pretty similar to Asian Islands in many ways.
* Really nice beaches
* Massai Warriors everywhere selling jewellery.
* Hottest/nicest blackie ever who loved Al. Still tho, 1 in how many have AIDS? (Al: "wasn't even tempted, but he was f--kING hot").
* Spewy hangover days for many, dry reaching at restaurants etc
* Paddle boats with beers, making a ruccus of the restaurant patrons water views with our f--king bullshit. HAhah
* Even tho it's a party Island there was a lot of weed so we really pissed in their water by hooking into the Thai Red Bulls (Reh Booh an Vohka for those who like to speak wog).
* Slept on the beach new years as we had no accomodation.
* Definately going back it was an awesome spot.

Heading to Mozambique now so might find that the net is hard to access once again. Sorry guys we're useless.
Hope all's well at home whatever you are.

Friday, 29 December 2006

Location: Maun - Xmas Partying., Botswana

After searching around for some whities to party with on XmasEve, we resorted to the black chicks at our lodge. Took a chance. While waiting for them to go home and freshen up, we played the 100s Club. The girls did red wine and the pussy boys did beer (Mike some red).

* Mitch - 100 shots - 100 mins - 0 spews
* Mike - 100 shots - 100 mins - multiple projectile spews at 90 mins
* Al - 95 shots - 93 mins - spewed at 30, 60 and 95 (burnt out oesophegus)
* Coats - 55 shots - 100 mins - 0 spews
* Twot - 100 shots - 100 mins - spewed her hole up on 99, diving back to the table to clear her 100th shot in time.

So anyway, the Niggas rocked up to pick us up and take us out with 4 MASSIVE black guys.

We were pretty freaked so we played kings to get them to loosen up a bit. They took us into the crazy hood and night clubs full of floating teeth and eyes. We learned tribal dancing, and we all danced outside Boi's house for hours. Xmas in the ghettos in Maun, pretty amazing.

Never felt so white.

Saturday, 23 December 2006

Location: Chobe, Moremi and now Maun, Botswana

Hi everyone, we're in Botswana now. Caught a ferry over from Zambia after the dreaded party nights and booze cruising.

Alot of driving and doing the Jimmy on campsites. We cracked the shits with the poor maintenance of the roads and the massive road fees, so now there is no remorse. We get as much free stuff as we can. Constantly hiding ourselves in the back of our 4x4 to cut down on 'per person' fees. Hammering straight through authorities check points so as to not pay. We really are getting good at it.

Chobe National Park:
We went in and set up camp, played 500 for a good few hours and then us girls decided to go and pay for our campsite. "Half hour round-trip" to the gate. As the mudswamped roads got worse, the sun was going down and the animals were coming out. Elephants. OK, elephants can be really dangerous as we were quick to discover in Africa.

We parked still as a herd of 30 Elees charged up the embankment and across the road. Once they were gone we slowly crept up to get past. Keeping a 360 degree eye we found a whole herd directly on our right looking at us but they were calm. So we watched, amazed. 2 seconds later, the remaining 3 massive Elees were doing their "Im about to charge you and gang-rape your car" dance to te left.

Shat ourselves, first gear, traction finally, sped off, lived. It was fun.
We are now more scared of Elees than any other animal in the world.

Another quick Chobe National Park story:
The next day we embraced a new game drive, heading in the direction of our next campsite. With no map, and no roadsigns anywhere in Botswana, we finally managed to get on the right road. Worst ever. As the road got dodgier and the thunderstorm became overhead we were all too proud to turn around.

Driving across rivers, over ditches and rocks, squeezing through tight bushes and knee deep water. 4 hours in, the storm had calmed, we only had about one hour to go, we got to a point where the road had dissappeared. We all split and wandered around in the rain, yelling out to each other to make sure noone had been eaten by a lion or any other predator.

Back to the car with no idea. We drove around, still nothing, The wet season had swallowed the road and the stupid Botwanians had not bothered to check it in months, not put up a simple "road closed" sign. Turned around, Lucky we had Mitch who discovered a talent with 4-wheel driving.

Snoopdogg and his gang won that war but suck shit because we didn't pay our National Park or Camping Fees AH AH AH!

What are we doing NOW you ask? Well we are in Maun, a "city" in Botswana, looking for something to do tonight as it is Christmas Eve.
This morning we went on a slow plane across the Okavango Delta to see the heards from aerial view. Pruddy cool.

Sunday, 17 December 2006

Location: Namibia

Destinations: Namibia Central to Nth Namibia - Crossing into Zambia and then to Botswana.

Okay all finally I (Mike) get a turn on this website. The girls loves keeping me totally unaware of what stuff they put on this thing.

We left Swakopmund (quad biking place) and headed to Etosha NP. We managed to scam out of paying for camping for the 3 nights we stayed there. Highlights included:
- Seeing a pack of 10 lions: 1 male who serviced 5 females and 4 cubs. Mitch and I wished we were males lions. The lioness does everything, including killing the prey and looking after the cubs. The lion just sleeps, eats and provides service calls.
- Meeting Al's real siblings and relatives, the Rhino. It snorts a lot, gets angry, stops on everything, charges and anything that moves and is generally very angry. These are very similart characteristics to my Sis. Dont b surprised if Al remains in Africa.
- Heaps of elephants, Zebra, Giraffe, Wildebeast and other animals were viewed.

Next stop was Livingstone in Zambia:
- The Rhino came out on the border crossing. Visas were meant to be free but they charged us $25USD. Rhinalison started abusing the officals saying "i know where the money is your are all corrupt..." They were not very impressed. I was taken into a separate room the girls gave me a condom in case any funny business occurred but we were safe.
- Vic Falls was amazing. Again border crossings killed us. To get into Zimbabwe for 4 hours they were charging $30USD. Rhinalison flipped out. After eventually calming down she paid the fee the girls really enjoyed Vic Falls. Mitch and I remained on the Zambia side playing 500 (card game) i'd already seen Vic Falls, Mitch said he had seen a waterfall before (how cultured.)
- Booze Cruise followed that night. $35 USD for the cheapest dirtiest spirits. We were all maggot, very maggot. Drinking started at 4:15pm we finished the cruise at 7pm and know one remembers much at all. I think everyone passed out at 9pm, Bec and Al a little bit later as they frolicked in the pool naked. Leah, the environmentally friendly person she is, spewed off the side of the boat onto a Hippo. Mitch jumped off the boat with a local who told him it was a good idea. I've never seen him swim so fast in all his life. Would have loved to have a heart rate monitor on him. The river was full of crocs and Hippos. Whilst you may think Hippos are calm and slow they are actually very angry and violent creatures. I think they are relatives of the Rhino.
- If you want more details of the night you will have to ask individuals.
- Forgot to mention Bec and AL (all sharing a tent) woke up naked at 4am and Leah woke up in the girls close. Not sure what was going on there. Was pretty funny because we all woke up at the same time at 4am raring to kick on. Mind you we were still very drunk.
- The next morning's hangover was great. LEah was a great help packing up the site (extreme sarcasim!!!!!!). She spent at least 5 hours sitting in the shower on her thongs, had a few more spews and her brain was functioning at about 5% of normal capacity. Bec and Alison followed being quite useless and vomitting once each. Mitch and I felt like ass. Managing to play 500 very badly for most the day before we all headed off to Botswana.

Sunday, 10 December 2006

Location: Sussosvlei & Swakomund, Namibia

From the airport we picked up our mad fourby and made our way through the Kalahari Desert in Botswana, across to Namibia.

We've been to the best display of sand dunes in the world. Sunrise and sunset and have already seen a whole bunch of African wildlife. We smashed our quads and burnt the shit out of our feet climbing up one of the biggest dunes, and then ran down it wieghtlessly.

Now at Swakomund which is where the desert reaches the sea. Shipwrecks in the water, awesome african architecture and beer at the sunset over the ocean.


Wanted to post photos but the angry nigga wouldn't let us so we'll do it later. Hope everything is well at home, we heard about the bushfires in OZ. Hope everyone is safe, in terms of us - we're all really well and lovin it.

Wednesday, 06 December 2006

Location: Amsterdam - out on shrooms!!, Netherlands

Met up with mitch who'd been sleeping at the airport waiting for his lover mike!!! They would let go of each other!!!

Straight away we dropped our stuff at accomo and got shitfaced. Mitch was talking up how much he'd been drinking in Canada and how much of a hard core partier he was, but quickly became our leggless novelty. We went stumbling through the red light district teasing prostitutes and pushing Mitch into their dens. One even locked the door with him in there, shut the curtain and demanded 50 Euro. We got him out unvoilated.

Once he'd fallen down a 2m ditch and spewd his way to bed at bigdog time, we all hit the shrooms. Hahaha lets just say that in Amsterdam thay are not a drug they are a fungus and a damn good one at that. Absolutely crazy night, so much fun and weirdest / coolest experience ever including: fits of laughter, giggles, turning into a meat patty, wardrobes transforming, being attacked by a spoofmonster which turned out to be a dirty doona, watching a circuis, being alice in wonderland ..... put it this way we were wigging. Fun times.

After 2 full days of space cake, Js and mushies we crawled through a thunder storm to the airport.

Monday, 04 December 2006

Location: Manila - fucking hole!!!, Philippines

Arrived off the bus at 12pm. Got harrassed by feelipinos who wanted us to get in their taxi even though we couldn't fit with our massive board bag!! Coats cracked the shits walked off way from the annoying asians but she got even more invaded by more!! they stood in our faces while we consulted our friend, the lonely planet!! about 1am we were ready to scream. eventually hooked up a van that took us to a city close to the airport. Walked around till 4am looking for cheap/available accomo. 2 of us would mind the mass of bags we have, while 2 checked accomo. We had to fight off dirty,homeless kids. They'd grab and hug us while the others would try and grab our stuff. Pretty scary. Also heaps sad - some little boy were about 8yrs old and were blind drunk!!
Also so many homeless ppl asleep on the paths with little babies and children. Was horrible to see. Worst City. Makes Bangkok look like paradise.
Eventually got a room. Hanging around this dirty city now waiting to go to Amsterdam.


P.S mike's fire bum has cleared up!!

Oh and running jokes/comebacks:
"If you do that again i'll":
* mike "put tap water in your bottle so you get arse piss"
* girls to each other " i'll steal your pill, so that you erupt like a volcano
* everyone to twot "i'll steal your laxitives so you can't poo"
* girls to mike "we'll steal your immodium so you can't stop shitting yourself!!

Saturday, 02 December 2006

Location: La Union - san Juan, Philippines

FEELIPINO - this title has a very disturburbing yet extremely funny story that we can't post coz we'll vomit like whores if we have to mentally relive it now...Will explain at home.......

* Girls r looking more manly than ever with cut arms from 9days straight surfing. It hurts!!
*We've been heaps lucky with the surf, 9days of awesome waves mostly to ourselves!! pretty rare as it's typhoon season so weather changes all the time.
* Mike got Coats again....Said to market dvd salesman "she want lesbian porn" the man won't leave her alone shoving porno's in her face.
* Lady man grabbed mike and said "i'm virgin and available"
* Couldn't go running on roads coz of imbread hungry dogs. Locals tip was to pick up a rock when they went at you and the dog will piss off. It worked even when we pretended.
*Couldn't go running on beach coz of imbread hungry feelipinos. Horniest asians!!! Suprising coz don't they have small doodles??
*Apparently us girls are "big and sexy"
* Mike accidently drank tap water when cleaning his teeth. Had explosive arse piss 5 times in one day, just before a 7hr bus trip- thank god for Immodium. First stop on the bus trip he pushed everyone out of the way for the dirty toilets. He loves it.
*Al did a fart on the bus (pretty bad one) mike "you're f--ked Al", AL replied "you're just jealous coz if you fart you'll explode and shit yourself"
*Got heaps pissed off a bottle of red soft!!
*Getting to the surf is a mission. One time they threw our boards on top of these "jeepnee" things. Mike and Twot had to hang off the back and hold on for 15mins. So damn dodgy!!

Hope everyone is having a great summer.

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Recent Messages

From Em Williams
Hey Guys,
You're trip sounds simply crazy, love the photo's too!!
Al: GEORGE IS MARRIED... Really beautiful wedding, she looked amazing!! Mike looked Very handsome. It was down on the beach, and the rain held off! They are on their honeymoon to Lord Howe for 10 days of surfing and more!!! haha anyway missing you heaps, but will see you soon!! When do u get home??
Lots of Love
Response: Happy birthday mate! Tried to call you but your phone is blocked. Stoked about George, tried to ring her too but couldn't remember the last 3 numbers of her no. She will be a very sore girl hehehe. Get home next Friday unless our passport get "stolen". Can't wait to catch up for a surf. xxx
From Troy Boy
Hey guys
How the f--k are you all? Only know bec but my god it sounds like u guys are having a great time! very jealous! Bec mate, i'm missing you heaps & i have so much goss for you which i know you just luv to hear. When you get back we will have to get smashed up & talk a whole lot of shit!!
Hope you all are having the time of your lives, which it sounds like you are!
Take care, enjoy & we will talk soon
luv ya mate xoxo
Response: Hey dude, home in a week and ready to party with you guys. Bring on the Hali I'm so poor. Got so many stories you'll love, you might even get a white girl sandwhich from us too.
From Wongy
hey lovers. amazing tales of the africa-ive been loving them everyday (and by that i mean when i can be f--ked finding a computer and reading your stories..but at least im doing it!). i miss you all. glad youre having a sick time. Australia is boring me, but funds are depleted so im kinda stuck here.
i love you all, and yet, havd a strange sense of hate that comes with it...
meeeyaaahhhh. Kisses, Wongy x
Response: Wong-diver, you're so damned dedicated to our page. You're our biggest fan we hate you so f--kin much. We owe you a white girl sandwhich when we get home. Only 1 week until culture club reunites. We have a lot of ground to cover this year. Take over the world n shit. xxx (wet wongy kiss backatchya)
From chops.
well i hope you all had a NYE to remember!! ohh mtich you did not pull out a pubic hair from a german tank!! hahahaha i love it!! you have style brother...
mikey the simularities of a rhino and al are uncanny!! glad to see you get a turn on this journal hey!!
twat the hali says a big hello and they miss you heaps!! and when you come back your job is no longer available!! jokes! well hurry up and get home so we can eat a REAL steak and play 500 together!! how good is Aussie day going to be!! yewwwwww
miss you all!!!!!!!!! stay safe
Response: Stingin for OZ day that's the only reason we're coming back, otherwise our passports would be getting "stolen" as we speak. Looking forward to seeing you. x
From The Dave
what the f--k!?!?!? hahahaha thats hilariousssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. wat a mungrel. whatd the chick do? beat him up or something? goodtimes. thats right up there with trophy winning material. peace
Response: I reckon its so funny the girl was a mammoth with huge bear hands and Mitch couldn hug her at all. The chick just ran off in disgust. We tried looking for her but couldn find her. Mitch is heaps keen to take the trophy out. Whats the deal with the Dj who is organising that?
From Wongy
small hangover i have right now...fffffaaaarrrkkkk.... girls, you would be so proud (and mikey too) of my domination of the bottle last night. You know us chingas cant handle our liquor but I did our peoples proud. paying for it in dollars and cents now though...jesus christ i need some pancake spa action. screw you guys for not being here to nurse me through the day after the drunkest night of my life. hope your new years was eventful and memorable.
love you heaps (but hate you like no tomorrow). madame wong x
Response: This message is too old to reply to. Pancakes / naked / spa.
From the dave
new yrs is gonna be dud for me. working till 10 then probs going to a grommie party... yay! where are u c's for it? do k n t know about this page? im itching for aust day. me boss told me i'm working that day, but i think he was just rubbing me cock bout it. but if he's serious ill pretty much quit haha. we might be teeing up a dj to come in the arvo so we can have a mass disco when we're all f--ked. i'm salivating here just thinking about it. yet i worry that i might lose the trophy coz alot of ppl are out after it. i want mitch to take it from me if anyone does. anywho, have fun u filthy ppl.
ps. since mums been feeding the dogs, pebs has got up to about 30kg, from her previous 18. u do the math
Response: Hey BD, we have a pretty funny story for you about Mitch. Definately in the running for the trophy if he comes up with shit like this on Australia Day. Hands down.

OK, we'll summarise - he was pashing this massive German chick on the beach in Zanzibar, pretty hot but just a giant. Anyway, he turned to us girls and goes "Watch THIS", put his hand down her pants and ripped out a tuft of pubic hair. He then took this out of her pants and waved it in the air and laughed. We were all so shocked that we didn't laugh till hours later. We'll explain later. Def trophy winning material.
Work hard you little scab.
From Nikki
Sounds like you lot are haveing an interesting and eventful trip to say the least. I hope you are all keeping your vaginas clean as advised before you left! Good to hear that you are keeping fit, even if it is because you have had to run from various African wildlife. Please do try and come home with all of the limbs you left with! Hope you are all having a great time and keep the diary entries coming, there great. Take care.
Response: Hey Nikkeh our vaginas are sour, especially Mitch's. Having a great time anyway. Limbs in tact but we're scarred like whores from the reef and rocks so looks like long wedding dresses for us hey. See you soon lover.
From wongy
hey lovers! merry christmas and all that stuff. hope youre all having a wicked good time. i miss you all so much but am loving reading all your stories. just do me a favor-please stop raping the natives. a picture tells a thoowwwwwsand words and i know youre all getting your moods on with the locals. one word...aids. thats my christmas gift to you.
i love you babies.
Response: Don't worry Wongy, we have our own precautions with the whole Aids issue. We call it 'Punch on 4'. It means that if in theory 1 in 4 have AIDS, then you can shake hands safely with the first 3 to approach you, but the 4th person you must initiate a nigga punch to stop germs spreading. Hands are everywhere over here, just wanting a simple shake. But Wongy, we will keep our wits about us. mERRY LATE xMAS. Only raping natives wives and their babies - hope that helps you sleep. Babies don't have AIDS right?
From Gemma
Hey, did you want me to email Jackson re meeting up with you guys in Stone Town?

If not don't worry - in fact i'll just give you his email address

Asante sana.
Response: I have emailed him, haven't got a response yet but might check now actually. If I can't meet him personally then i will send it to him via post and cross my fingers that the niggas don't knick it before it gets to him. Ara haraha. You were right about the young guys having drug issues in stone town. So many f--kin Muslims eh? Na, most of them are OK. Haven't been bombed yet so that has to be a good thing.
From Linz Dog
Hey Kids!

Not a whole lot happening over here up our end besides working anf bumming and gymming it. Loving life at the moment. Jen just found out today she got a job at Kempsey teaching years 5-6 so she is going to move to crescent head!! Cant believe it, so far away but will be great for road trips! yeewwww!

Whats the latest, an update please!
Response: kempsey.... sounds fun, not! still good being on the coast.... mad road trips though! tell her we said congrats.... glad all is well... keep us filled in on all the goss xoxoxox
From Angela
he you there,was nice meeting you in Amsterdam,take care and be carefull,kiss Angela from Ziggy's bar
Response: Hey we didnt expect to hear form you so soon, so good good that you remember us.
The second night we looked for hours trying to find your bar again.... but were to high to find our way through the trippy streets. Thanks for the warning, but mushies were awsome. ha ha ha hope your well and have a good chrissy and new year...keep intouch. Luv the auzies
From Chewy
Hi guys Can you bring me back some space cake and we'll call things even for my birthday?

Seriously it wil be fine, i have a plan
- just hide it in your board bags.
its flawless.
From Wongy
LOVERS! little ole martha stewart here. I have been cooking up some ripper storms in the kitchen. too bad you're sluts and bitches country hopping like flea bags. pretty unjealous bec. pretty unjealous. I mis you so much my loins are aching... like the use of "loin"? yeah? yeah! you love it...
Nothing of interest happening here. christmas will be weired without you guys here. i really miss you. hope youre having a wicked good time. keep me posted.
b xxx
ps- your dads all say hi. ALL of them... olay...
Response: Keep away from our dads you horney asian. ha ha ha stop talking about your loins were getting horney. Mis you heaps, have a good chrissy and new year... Luv team
From sclub(ce, jb, je)
Hey Kiddo's
the aussie half of the sclub are just chilling at evies. loving your updates. sounds like good times are being had by all. Life is going good here on the Cenny. getting plenty! haha only kidding. missing you all. take care. xxx
Response: When we get home "there wont be a party like our S'CLUB party" keep representing. luv ya
From Luke
Hey geek and crew how is Africa going? Just been doing the same old thing back here. Wish i was surfing the waves use have been getting. keep smileing.. Tweds xo
Response: hey bro, having a sick time... so many stories you will love! looking forward to the waves in mozambique, will fill you in. Have a good chrissy eve, hope your getting smashed! wish i was there to spend it with you, mis you lots say hi to the fam for me. Luv you xoxoxox
From Gemma
Sorry to do this on the group website...

Leah, what is Simon's password on your ex computer? His user name is Simon Waterworth...but don't know password, which is a bit of a problem.

Also, when you go to Tanzania, Jeremy has requested several Tusker Beer T shirts if you can get some - he'll pay you back. -G
Response: Ok it might be: apple, (blank), remember1, passw0rd, simon. Can't think of anything else but if he needs to ask Brett from work set it up and his no is 4365 0838. Sorry I'm pretty sure I tlod him but maybe not....? Altzheimers.
From chopsyyyyy
well looks like you all turned into JUNKIE freaks in the amster of a dammmmm!! nice work!
just got out of the water from nth entrance was off tap! like mikes tap ass!! hahah sucked in looser!
well think of me working at the hali NYE!! man how fun!!
mitch f--king man up and drink drink drink dont let twat drink more than you! she will have bragging whrites for years over you!! so have any of you hooked up with a botzwana local!!
come on tweds you love the black C*^K.. Al rumour has it that you have to religiously watch out for mike and tweds getting it on!! haha so leah has the tripod come in to use yet??? hummmmmmm batteries not included!!
well i hope you all clean the sand from your twats and ass's as you could the sarrengetti rash...eww
well i bet you all look like funghi kinner milk smothered cob webbed phlaps by now!!
so keep up the good stories and all stick together.. your living the life you f--kers!! uncle chop........ x
Response: Bryce, finally i get a turn on this thing. Mitch was quite soft. But he did pep up and we grabbed him and took him bakc on the streets at 2 am. It was pretty dodgey had a number of people go in for the wallet grab on me. Junkies were everywhere. LC's tripod has been used on numerous occassions. All 3 girls seem to love having a turn. Sometimes all at the same time. Nah j/k they are fine althought there is a lot of talk about Vagina's. Everyday the word is used a hell of a lot. It is starting to get in Mitch's head. The girls are hilarious. Okay funny story, Mitch had a dream that this old man was dying and he saved him by resucatation. He then saw the old mans wife in shock and went to comfort her. He looked back over and Bec was on the side of the bed giving the old guy head. Mitch was disgusted. Walked over and yelled abuse at Bec before trying to flick his dick and stop her from doing it. The old man was 85 + supposedly and did manage to cum! So funny hey. We all laughed a lot.

Missing you bro hope all is well hugs from us all. Mike and team
From dykie
Hey all you crazy kids!!!! Just thought id say a quick hello. Sounds like ur having an awesome time. I laughed so much reading this page, uve expressed urselves beautifully!!!! I can't wait to hear from you guys again. If mikey and mitch stopped being so gay then mike probably wouldn't have so many problems with his bowel movements!!!! Love your work guys!!!
Response: Dykie, dykie, dykie.... we were only talking about you yesday when we saw 2 dirty dykes at our camp site. glad to finally hear from you, you slutty skank! keep your legs shut while were away, we can smell you from here.... smells quite like the african B O here. ha ha ha luv ya
From Gemma
Hey guys...

Just wanting to know where you fly out from to get to Zanzibar. Let me know if you want to catch up with my nigga friend Jackson.

Also, since I'm going to have to do the worrying here for you - just be careful in Mozambique...20 people step on landmines there - every month!!!!

That's the latest from the CC Newsroom.

Also, in late breaking news...Alexander Downer allegedly likes bum sex.
Response: We fly to Zanzibar on the 28th Dec. I might email Jackson now and hook up with him, not like that Leah said...We know about the landmines, thanks for looking out for us. Can't believe Alex hey?????? hahahaha Mitch is stoked, very very stoked (lucky he cannot type - this is Mike) hahahahaah Ciao Ciao
From Nate dogg
Id love to say that im having a kick ass time back on the coast! but thats definantly a lie' Man the coast is boring, I think we're all missing ya big personalities. Sounds like you guys are living the dream' must be great to party 24/7 with different cultures.
(leah and Al) No need to worry bout the Dolphins, we're still kicking ass, no losses yet, ignore the first game!
(Leah) Don't know about you, but ive heard nuthin' bout uni! Is that a good or bad sign?
alright you sexy biatch's, thats you to mike, keep it real, keep safe and make sure you go all out coz your livin it' at the moment.
Peace out nath xx
Response: hhhaha Love the message. We've been sleepless about the dolphins, glad your kickin arse. Not sure with uni my Mum is contrllong my mail and haven't spoken lately. The sexy bitch is keepin it real in the tent with Mitch, they both said "halloo" (gay voice). x miss ya.
From chewy
Hi guys. Hope that the trip so far has provided you with both clarity and enrichment (of the arse and testicles, respectively).
oh and leah before i forget mum came across the ENTIRE collection of *"tripods" under your bed the other day.
It was pretty funny... no wait! let me rephrase; it was HEAPS funny.
Like picture this ok, mum and dad just just went quiet when they saw all of the boxes and then mum got all teary... but I was just laughing!
and then i sighed, BUT THEN I LAUGHED AGAIN when I rethought about how funny it was.
And mum just kept crying.

yep Good times, good times.

*For anyone who doesn't know what "Tripod" means, I'm refering to leah's extensive collection of dildo's... If you catch my drift (wink, wink)

Response: Yeah you better not steal my dildo collection Chewy. I suppose you have had your own since you were 12 anyway. Was Mum as upset as when you did a sleep shit in her bed the other day? ahaha The team said thanks for the entertainment. Bitch.
From Kalem
Whats been happenin gangstas..? How r things in Amsterdam, heard theres heaps of churches ther 2 be explored.. Yous beta be Representin!!
Not missin much here ay, just plenty of goon action & GOODTIMES!! Surfs been really shit but awesome weather..
Arse piss is overated ay, rather eat an off kinner instead.. Holla black & run amok Team Africa!!
Response: Hey good to hear that the goony is going well, we're missing the good old Aussie goon bags. Mike loves the arse piss it keeps him trim. Of course we are running a muck. mISS YA
From Pat
Shit guys so jealous sounds like you're having a ball. Giving each other heaps too by the sounds of things, well as long as the team gets along, think i might quit my job, rob a bank and spend the rest of my days island hopping. Whos in?
Oh If the feelipinos give you more trouble hit them with your manly arms! ha ha take care live it up in amsterdam.
Response: Hey Pat, too much wiggin and drinking in Amsterdam has assured we aren't as strong anymore. Robbing a bank sounds like a good idea. We're in. You Stockies would love Africa, so much to do. Say hi to fam x
From the dave
hows amsterdam? out of control??? had a mass night out with bryce, lindsey coops n kalem n everyone lasty at largalicious. was sooo fun ay. f--k i'm gonna get u (mike n mitch) just absolutely blind when u's return. soooo bad. yeh yeh yeh. hay hay hayyyyy. peace
Response: You wont have to dominate us (M & M) cos Amsterdam already did. Crazy shit.
Mike turned into a dealer .. he loved the shit (Al).
Keep up our Tyrrell rep while we're away