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'Caviar' aka 'T.J.' & 'The Thriller'

hey homies! this is our site for our travels. 'planet ranger' bit dramatic i know sounds like a superhero...no wait that was captain planet! Anyway here you can post messages of love, insults, sadness and bribes. (???) just no porn please (louie) they'll chuck me off the site! take care and see ya in about four months

Diary Entries

Saturday, 05 February 2005

Location: Fiji

hey guys promise I'll keep this one short i sware! what can i say i got alot to tell ya! OK after the fun at Franz Josef we headed to a town further south along the west coast called Te-Anau. here we stopped in a hotel that was....LOST INT THE 70's!! can you say, the hotel in 'the shinning'! literally the place had like little kids in trikes screaming 'RED RUM!!!' kay, thats not technically true...but the place was well 70's!!! anyways! the next day we went sea kayaking in a place called 'Milford sound'. Sea kayaking basically means the same as a normal kayak but with an ickle rudder type thing at the back and it was a two man affair (no shaw shank jokes please!) basically these were a two man kayaks whereby the person at the front would be responsible for the power, so nnaturallythat position fell to the power-house that is me! then the person at the back would have all rudder controls, that responsibility fell to our 'Sat-nav' boy Mr Wilkes! the trip was amazing! saw some really nice scenery fitting to the lord of the rings! but the funniest thing about the trip was the fact that these boats were nicknamed, aamongstthe staff, the divorce boats! this was obviously due to the fact that there were two people in the kayaks, meaning two opinions, and lets face it you ain't gonna blame yourself in a situation, so naturally arguments happen! ANYWAY...there was a couple in one of the boats who were having a little domestic in their boat! SHE had obviously never kayaked before and HE was shouting at her making her even more nervous! well this combined with an ever increasing wind caused the water to get more choppy and yep to our enjoyment and sadly to their embarrassment they capsized WAHEEEE! but the whole pain for pleasure thing made itself apparent that day...
pleasure: we saw them capsize! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
PAIN: as a result whilst the guide got them back to shore we had to 'raft up' by the land get massacred by the sand flies....my hands have only just recovered!
Well after having a great time at the Milford sounds we headed to the great, 'venture' capital of Kiwi land...Queens town! here we stayed at the backpackers haven the discovery lodge! a great little pad that was right in the middle of town! as we were walking through town we randomly bumped into Alex from Christchurch and even weirder the yanks too! so it was kind of like a Christchurch reunion! loads of cool things to do in Christchurch Tim did the Nevis bung jump, which is the second biggest in the world hit the town a couple of times and found a bar called 'minus 5' which was basically a club made completely of ICE! 'COOL' huh? we also watched the charity rugby sevens where i met Jonah lomu! basically the long and short of it that queens town was a really cool little scenic town that was bad ass! i can't remember all the little details but iI'msure I'll bore all of you when i see you again in the pub or something!
here on out we did the mammoth drive back to Christchurch from queens town stayed another night there and drove to the town of picton where you get ferry to the north island arriving at wellington. wellington is pretty much your basic urban shopping London type city with cool little shops here and there. ie very much the opposite to the south island. here we visited said our sad goodbyes to Tim as he was heading back to OZ of the 'big day out' music festival ( like reading or V!) so with only a week left, team Wilkes-llano was back down to it's founding members that had to get their asses to Auckland for the departing flight to the land of FIJI! suffice to say we managed it via the wonderfully people on the intercity bus service stopping of at Rotorua which is down in the lonely planet as having the highest collection of live sulphur springs anywhere in the world, but to you an me that basically meant that the place smelt of eggy farts! (smell of sulphur = Satan's ass!). having stopped there we then arrived in Auckland, again a cool city on par with wellington which had a cool little park to chill in! and that as they say in the movies was that! New Zealand was an amazing place that i would definitely want to go back to...any takers???? just nice people, nice scenery and an amazing place! so having paid our $25 departure fee (!?!) and a three hour flight ahead of us we headed out to Fiji...and just when we thought it couldn't get any better.....

Saturday, 08 January 2005

Location: christchurch, New Zealand

hey guys the new photos are now online if you haven't been sent the link and would like to see them leave a message here or mail me on: royalwitcheez@talk21.com kay? kay! take care!

Friday, 07 January 2005

Location: christchurch, New Zealand

Hi there! hows it goin??? OK so DING round three, almost there just got oz left and we're done i sware!
OK so we arrived in Melbourne and first things first...i know i go on about the weather in places loads, but in Melbourne seriously it could have possibly been the nicest weather ever!!! nice and hot without the humidity! which was such a nice relief coming from JAY-PAN and singa let me tell you! we arrived nice and early in 'melb' got in a cab and went a travelling to our hotel, 'hotel Miami' this was NICE!!! i mean real nice!!! it turned out that despite being listed on hostels.com it was a three star hotel! WHAYEEE!!! plus it was just afew minutes away from the city centre. melb as a place was pretty normal really kinda sparse suburbia that was full of character and nice people. up untilChristmass we just passed time by going to the city and going to the beach distract at St. kilda. again like the red blooded males that we are wemanagedd to squeeze a trip into town to see the local bars and clubs. courtesyy of your newAussiee friendEmilyy (and lack of a lonely planet) we had a full a full list of pubs and clubs to hit, and basically the long and short of it is st kilda presents itself as a nice strip to do a little crawl up! with that in mind we started one end and worked our way up the street! a quality little crawl that resulted in us finding possibly the funniest name of arestaurantt/shop e-e-e-ever... you ready? please be up standing for....

'THE HARD WOK CAFE'

GET IN!!!! HOW GENIUS IS THAT???? HAHAHAHAHAAA! anyway sorry...as i was saying we hit st kilda and ended up in a pretty cool little clubEmilyy recommended called 'boutique' and guess what lady luck struck once more that night! thats right you guessed itAdamm and i being the fountains of luck that we are went to this club on 80's night! and those of you who know me wellenought know that i HATE 80's cheese! but there was a silverliningg the DJ thankfully delved into theJamess brown and funk side of the 80's thatAdamm and i could relate to (let's face itAdamm and i are all about the funk!) and we had a quality night! (besides it wasChristmass eve)
coming back from the club it wasChristmass day (or Chrissy asAussiess like to call it!!) andAdamm and i had agreed to buy each other chrimbo gifts! i got him the 'jay-z Vs. pinkin lark' (linkin park) DVD/CD combo and he got me a very funky knight rider t-shirt! so as your all wondering how was ourChristmass day??? well the word is UNIQUE! sadly despite the plans it just turned out that nothing was open onChristmass and the only things that were open that were servingChrissyy meals were already fully booked so this left us thepillarr ofChristmasscuisinee...the localChinesee! that's right forChristmassAdamm and i hadChinesee take out...twice, thank you lady luck! but hey like theMurphy'ss...you know the rest...
anyway boxing day was a daychillingn likeMatttDillonn at the st kilda beach and the day after we took a domestic flight toSydneyy!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR A QUALITY TIME!!!!!!
OK ya'll can switch back on now! basically inSydneyy we were able to crash at our very good friend lauraMoore'ss gaff. here we met all thesewonderfullyl people and we had a blast i really can't be bothered towritee about it now asI'mm far to cream crackered having written two entries now and my time in this cafe is about to expire, but the long and short of it is we went on bondi beach,went to the zoo, saw theSydneyyoperah house (which is more base than white), went on a cruise upSydneyy harbour for new years, hit the town a couple of times ( at which i got chucked out once!), went mountain biking and pretty much had a great time!! i will write about it at greater length, with photos, but for now let's just say that it was all gravy baby! and nowAdamm and myself are inChristchurchh newZealandd with our buddy Tim whom we met inSydneyy and we're mobile baby! that's right!!! ROAD TRIP!!!!! anywayI'lll write about that another time, so until then
take care of yourselves and each other!
Lemar & Adam

Friday, 07 January 2005

Location: christchurch, New Zealand

hello to you's!!!
OK i realise i didn't make my tomorrow deadline, but as I'm sure you all know i suck working within dead lines! well anyway where did i leave off.....? oh yes Singapore, well children if we're all sitting comfortably...we'll begin....

instead of 'once upon a time' we'll have, tommy cooper style, 'so I'm in Singapore right...' basically we arrived in Singapore kinda late afternoon, but as i said everyone pretty much speaks English, so we managed to negotiate the best way to our 'hotel'. firstly the town is the cleanest place we've seen since Tokyo, apparently chewing gum is outlawed there! (true or not i don't know, but hey chances are it will be punishable by death!) our hostel that we stayed in was pretty much the first proper back backer hostel that we had stayed in and was granted a HUGE culture shock. all the room consisted of was two beds, one double and one single (Adam bagged the double, what can i say hes a big chap) four walls and a table! granted it had air con it still was kinda weird! but like the masters of culture we accepted the room and made it our own...messy!! it's kinda hard to remember what we did their to be honest, bit cliched i know...but it seems like a long time ago....oh yeh! Singapore is very much a shopping country but unlike JAY-PAN this place was super cheap! there were lots of malls and shopping places where we could eat well for hardly nothing, managed actually to get THE nicest stake for like a lady (gidiva...fiver) bought afew cool items which included a gift for Louie and some t-shirts for me!
we had alot of spare time in singa as it's normally too hot to do owt during the day and so we relied on the wonderful pastime, the picture show! we saw SOOO many movies! so now I'm gonna give a quick run down of the movies we saw and a quick star rating out of five! (put up with it, i may get film 2005 yet!)
oceans twelve ***** (zeta Jones is sooo cute!)
blade trinity *** (leave your brain at home film that has some ultimate cheese)
Alexander ** (really long film with an overly covered "is he a bummer??" side-narrative)
the incredibles ***** (quality film, but not as funny as hoped)
national treasure * (don't see this film...i barely could)
so there you go, the ross' are quaking in there over-payed, miss-pronounced Gucci boots! We did, as I'm sure your all wondering hit the town...we started buy heading into the known 'bar' area and found a really cool bar called 'the corellian' (star wars geeks need only apply...Duffy) had a few drinks and then hit a club called 'china blacks' no relation to china whites in London i promise (???) it was a quality night were Adam did his robot, and i did...whatever it is that i do when i dance...create magic! anyway that aside the funniest thing that we found in Singapore was when Adam and i went into this bar for a cheeky drink one night at a bar called beavers. we got in, ordered a round in and found that it had a huge sports screen that was showing the footy, so we thought cool! Adam being the blade that he is was missing the football from home and i had another opportunity to annoy him with my huge lack of knowledge on said topic. when watching it we soon realised that the football coverage was not the English sky sports, but the American ESPN....!!! thats right it's football ladies and gentlemen but not as we know it! it was soccer and it was the E.P.L. let me type that again...'the E.P.L.' which stood for 'the English Premier League' and my god they had stats and plenty of them!! twas a nightmare that i found somewhat amusing i have to admit!! but anyway that's pretty much as much as i can remember, I'll put the photos up asap! which reminds me I'm gonna delete the pics soon so do what you will with them but do it quick!
anyway that brings me up to the end of our Singapore episode. join us next time when you hear about me and Adam in the land down under!!! (I'm gonna write it in a sec but send it on a different e-mail, so it's easier for ya'll!)
lemar and adam!

Monday, 03 January 2005

Location: sydney, Australia

G'day ya'll,
firstly sorry that this has taken so long, secondly when you see "Internet access" on a hostels booking website expect a computer made of wood that is constantly busy!
right to where to start!!! i guess the first place to tell ya about is Osaka............................- .................................- .................................- .........
.............................- .................................- .................................- ........rrrright! OK, so in a nutshell don't go to Osaka!! me and Adam didn't do much in Osaka, in fact while we where there we went to Kyoto instead of hanging out there! i wouldn't say it was a bad place it just was not very exciting, think the neon city in blade runner! but hey! Kyoto was cool got to see the old imperial palace and some really cool little gardens and understood the whole feng shui thing!!! what we will, I'm sure take away from the whole experience is the fact that the hotel was called hotel kinki! (HAhAHA) phew sorry very immature i know. right well remember how lady luck just shat on our heads with the whole purple bun fillings??? well when it rains it pours! we soon realised that in order to make out nine o'clock flight in the morning to Singapore we would have to leave the night before and pull a tom hanks in the terminal (cept no zeta Jones, sadly) and sleep in the chuffing airport for ten hours! so with an extra bounce in our step Adam and i left Osaka japan for the wonderfully and recently made famous for sinking into the ocean (lady luck) Osaka international airport! all was going well for the first five hours...little backpack for pillow and big backpack for footrest, even got a few hours sleep! but we soon got a reality check courtesy of the fine people of the japan police dept. three intimidating as F*CK policemen came up to myself and addz and gave us a wake up call. no breakfast in bed and welcoming smile sadly...just the lovely words "ID and boarding pass please....!"
so, anyway after the cavity search (kidding) we soon got on our plane and said our goodbyes to JAY-PAN and hello to SINGA!!
Singapore was in a nutshell quality and cheap as you like! you can eat a hearty meal at a nice restaurant for about 6 quid! everyone spoke English (goodbye lost in translation) and it was all good! we stopped in a place called "the cosy backpackers hostel" and let me tell ya i wasn't just a clever name! really cool little place that granted was a dive in comparison to what we'd previously stayed in but was really more of a backpackers place!

gotta leave it there sadly as i have to be back at the house in Sydney as one of the house mates there, Chloe is leaving for home so i wanna say goodbye, but don't fret I'll finish this letter tommoza! till then take care and look forward to hearing from ya!
lemar and Adam

Tuesday, 21 December 2004

Location: Singapore

hey ya'll sorry that i haven't written to all of you recently, the so called 'free' t-Internet at our hostel is sadly just a clever name, as there is Always a chuffing yank e-mailing the world (granted completely different to what I've done to ya'll) and i haven't had the chance to use the comps there. anyway as I'm sure your all concerned we are both OK and free of any diseases (did i mention that unnecessarily???) and leaving for Melbourne tonight, so when we get to our hotel in oz I'll write a to all then Kay?Kay! take care and speak to ya'll soon!
Lemar and Adam!


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Recent Messages

From Wilbourn
Hey! I work on the top floor of the EDS building! You try clinbing the stairs to that everyday! MMM! This is turning into the wilbourn message board (god knows what they pay me to do here!)
Response: whats the EDS building! hey you know what its is turning into that!! but hey man i wouldn't want it to be anyone else!!!!
From Wilbourn
Thats one big ass glacier! Alot of pictures of 'we climbed this one' coudn't see many (or any of you)actually on top of the glacier. MMMMM! The moon landing by America comes to mind.
Response: hey man don't diss it! how many glaciers have YOU CLIMBED??? EHHH???? HOW MANY???? SIT DOWN!!!
From Wilbourn
PC Paul Genecki 15723 has been a big let down and can't go in February which means were not going now till mid March. By which time you'll be back! Shucks! Where u going next? Skeggy?
Response: surely not PC Paul Genecki 15723!?! are well thats sucks we are in wellington at the mo where all the girls are pretty much hot! sadly skeggy will have to wait FIJI is next...DIRT OF MY SHOULDER!!!
From Wilbourn
So, another exciting day at work with nothing to do apart from email Philius Fog and Cato.
Have you has a barbie yet in Australia? You can't go all the way to Aussie and not have a barbie its the law! Punishable by death! Where u off to next? When u gonna be in New York?
Response: hey ya matey! nah sadly we didn't have a barbie in oz ah well next time, we're actually in NZ at the mo, don't know when we're gonna be in NYC? when you going??
From Wilbourn
That fat F**ker didn't bring me a tricycle! Damn you santa! Damn you to hell! Anyway how you guys going. Hear wilkesy got layed by a stripper. Is this true? Photographic evidence? (not of the actual, you know, event. Just the lady in question.).
Response: hey ya mate! soz to hear about the tricycle, maybe next year....
From Peter@Grace
Sorry for not being in touch,but you guys are having a great time.
Lemar?none of your family are home now ones in the Philippines the other big bro is in Dublin and you in Aus?Lucky.Anyway me and Grace send you lots of love and keep up the good writing you have me in stitches.Take care OK from Grace XX
Response: hi guys!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! good to hear from ya! hope yor having a great holiday season! i'm about to update the diary and gallery so....
From Sara & Nat
Hey Guys,

Copy cats ;)

How was the Cosy Guesthouse in Singapore? We need some tips on where to stay!

Did u say u guys were going to NZ? We'll be there from feb 4th.

Hope you're having a fab time, and wishing you a very merry xmas!

See you in the top 5 some time....
Response: hey ya great to hear from you! what can i say the cosy guest house was...cosy!?! far from the dizzy heights of hotel juyoh naturally! but it was cheep like the budgie! singapore rocks, go to a club called 'china black'! we might be in NZ for feb, so i'll let ya know! till then have a great christmas!
...top 5 it's gonna happen!
From Wilbourn
Have yo seen any kangaroos in Australia yet? Theif great arent they! See if you can get two to have a boxing match with gloves and everything and record it on your phone. That would be great!
Response: yes...it would....take care now, bye bye then!
From Wilbourn
Tell Adam his mum says he forgot to take his pile cream with him.
Response: noted mate, i'll pass it on!
From Wilbourn
I hope santa brings me a tricycle this year!
Response: a tricycle...yeh that would be nice!
From Vanessa
WOW! Sounds life your having a fab time! How long are you on your travels for? I have just arrived in Oman, another xmas in the sun, lovely.Just about to have some shisha.Have fun love Ness xxxx
Response: Hi ya ness! hows it going?? sorry i missed your crimbo party, louie said it was great! I WANNA BE IN OMAN!!! i'll be on me travels till about march some time! when we have to meet up kay? save me some shish!!!
From stanley
hey lemar sound u havin good time there... hahah
having heaps of fun in ropponggi ya ? keep writin ur jornie okie

enjoy melba okie !!

stan
Response: "ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!" hey there budd! hows it going? you have to send me the pics from your holiday!! in singapore at the mo...CRAZY HOT here man! anyway take care! keep in touch!
From John
Gay boy! ok no worries sounds like your having a blast though man keep it up! :D i'm sure we'll survive without you!...enjoy osaka and singapore...

"momma didn't raise no fool!"

later homie
john
Response: "whats a bogey lowenstien???"
From Dave
Yo yo Lemar, hows it going? Sounds like you are having a wicked time in Japan (i am so jealous)! Your pictures of the zoo made me laugh so much - you are such a big kid!! I have now extended my flights so will now be in Egypt for a month - so am pretty excited about that! Anywayz gotta go as am late for uni AGAIN! Have FUN!WOO HOO!
Response: thats quality mate don't forget to walk like an egyptian! and take loads of photos! Hey whats so funny about a beaver! you gotta admit tho...a jackass penguin! thats comedy gold dust!
From Wilbourn
I saw a squirel yesterday!
Response: ...nice man...real nice....take care!
From laura
Hey guys hows things, just wanted to know wot u fancied doing for new years, we r thinking of going on a harbour cruise but they are very pricey but let me know, cant wait to see u, love lau
Response: hey laura would love to meet up with ya, e-mail me the details ok?? see ya soon!
From Dan
Hey Lemar, glad your having fun, keep partying! Team Win baby!
Response: I'm just representing TEAM WIN on a global scale! We're going international baby!
From John
hey dude!! seriously man what's your account number i'll give you the money just send a PSP PLEASE!!!! hope you good otherwise :D also hey louie you pikey still at barrets!?? :D hope you doing coo! later dude have continued coo time all the best and take it easy
john
Response: JOHN-JA-MINGE!!!! hey matey! you can send me the money but i'm not gonna get ya one! you try and negotiate with someone who don't understand english 'air mail to england' trust me buddy its a world of pain!
From Megan
hi lemar, glad to hear your having fun not much is going on at the tapley house.I went to churchills last weekend it was so rubbish!!!you are so lucky to be away. How much longer are you in japan for?

meg x x
Response: Hey junior tappers! great to hear from ya! i don't believe that there is noting going on in the tapley house there's alwyas fun to be had in there! anyway i m gonna be in japan for another four or five days, then off the cheaper than cheap singapore! woo! ahhh c'hills this might sound weird but i kinda miss it! take it easy on the old vodka red bulls, nothing but trouble!!
From Nigel
mate you hooked up with kiki yet?
Response: sadly was too hung over to meet up with her,but cheers for getting me in contact with her!
From Louie
Porn!!!!! ME!!???? Never!!!!!!
Have Fun! Take Care!
Your Bro! Louie
Response: say hi to phillipa for me!