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Where the hell is Birdo?

As my travelling companion Matt set up a page on his own rather than a joint one i have had to create one too! The main reason is to just upload some phots for you all to get even more jealous!

Also check out and see what Beaker has been up to!


Diary Entries

Saturday, 11 March 2006

Location: Australia


Right, since i last emailed you all, i finally left Sydney to do the east coast of Australia, well i am having a wicked time and have done lots of cool stuff and have visited Cairns, Airlee beach, Whitsunday's sailing trip and Hervey Bay for the 4x4 self drive safari thingy around Frazer island. During this time of course, i had my good friend Mr Craig Dingo Doyle to accompany me.

Stayed in Cairns for about a week and although not much to see in the town, what it lacked in things to see it made up in nightlife which was very good. The main place was called the Woolshed where there was free food for backpackers, ok the free food portions weren't great but if you added $4 then you could get a nice big juicy steak! We went there every night and by ten o'clock it was packed with people dancing on tables! So quite a few boozy nights including one where we went on a organised bar crawl. There was drinking games including strip musical chairs which Craig entered! Basically If you lost a round you had to take off a item of clothing to stay in. He started off well, girls were losing and dropping out then it took a turn for the worse! The next thing i knew there was 3 people left and doyle was in his pants! He lost the next round as well i was ready to hand back his clothes but doyle gave me a look and i knew it wasn't the end, boxers off he continued naked! ha ha it was hilarious but the funny thing was he still didn't win and lost the next round!

Other things i did in Cairns was a Bungy!! yes you heard it folks! Well it was actually a Minji which is a jungle swing where me and doyle got strapped in superman stylie and lifted up 100 feet in the ar and let drop. It was so high but it was obviously to let to pull ut now so off we went flying straight down towards the ground but swinging back up again and when we reached the peak of the swing it seem to stay there for a second while it looked out across the whole jungle, i thought humm nice viewwwwwaaaaaargggggghhhhhh as my stomach left me and was hurtling down again but this time backwards! well after swinging back and forth a quite a few more times it was eventually over but very glad i dd it it was excellent. I also went diving on the barrier reef was was also excellent, i saw a sting ray, lots of nemo's, lots of other colourful fishes and these massive fish that stayed round the boat that were the size of an iron board and had big pointy teeth, they were harmless though still mean looking also swam with reef sharks! again harmless but still a bt scary.

Then it was off to do Whitsunday's and Frazer Island which were both massive highlights of my trip so far. We stayed at Airlee beach before the whitsunday trip, it was a really nice little town with some really good nightlife we arrived intending to go out for a couple of quiet drinks with our dutch friend Koen, but ending up rolling into the hostel at 03.45 in the morning when we had to be up at about 6.30 to go and board our saily boat. We managed it but were a bit tired for the first day. On the trip i sailed on a ship which was 110yrs old called The Defender which I quickly renamed The Destroyer! I did some proper sailing (well pulled some ropes etc.) swam with fishes and a big turtle who liked me as it followed me around or was it me who followed him? cant be sure! we did a bush walk to a look out over White Haven Beach. It was a really breathtaking view. The beach is bright white silicone sand and the sea was so many different shades of blue and so clear you could see things swimming around in it even from how high we were. We then went down to the beach and had a kickabout with all the other people on the boat. I also licked a ants bum, slept under the most stars you have ever seen and taught everyone to skim stones! i did 5 bounces which isn't my record but still proud of. I was out at see for a total of 3 days and 2 nights and loved every minute of it!

Frazer island was just as good maybe slightly better! 22 of us split into 2 groups of 11 and given a massive 4x4 each group and let loose on the biggest sand island in the world! Got a ferry to the island which was a lot bigger that i thought (the island not the ferry) and we were off bouncing down sand tracks and cruising along the beach. I drove quite a lot of the time and although pretty scary i absolutely loved it! Saw all the sights which included lake butterbean (or something like that!) and Lake McKenzie which was paradise! Pure white sands and a lush blue crystal clear lake. Seen loads of other stuff too including a DINGO! We camped in tents and showered with red back spiders! not everyday you shower with something that will kill you! the nights consisted of drinking goon (very cheap white wine) and getting wrecked and having parties on the beach! The second night i got everybody smashed by teaching everyone the legendary game they call tap tap! it was the no pointing that got em! stupid foreigners! Top 3 days

Stayed in Hervey bay few a few days and that's where me and craig parted company as he had to get on a 22 hour bus to sydney to catch his plane to New Zealand. So its now me on my own well not really for long as i'm going up to Rockhampton to see a couple of friends from england who are over here living for 4 years then Kim, one of the girls in sydney maybe coming to meet me in Byron Bay when i get there as she isn't working and wants to see some thing different while the other are working. For now though i'm in Noosa chilling out. It is a really nice little place with a nice beach and beach town. And as i thought found it is quite easy to meet people and even went out with a couple of people last night and got, yes you've guess it mega pissed! gonna stay here a few days and have some surfing lessons which should be cool and which i'm probably gonna be excellent at! 'll let you know....

Hope you all liked the photos? Unfortunately there wont be any more unless i get my camera back! yes it has been nicked along with my bag! what a bummer! It had my passport, tickets, shades, diary and reading glasses in there as well as some smelly pants...some people! well it hasn't got me down but just a lot of hassle now trying to get a new passport etc..

Anyway cheeeeeeers for now

Mr Bird, the swedish traveller!

P.S Shout out to Lottie who's birthday it was on the 4th!
P.S did you know that a human head weighs about 8 pounds!? fact

Wednesday, 22 February 2006

Location: Cairns, Australia

Yes I have finally left Sydney and about time as I had been there for two months! As mentioned before the initial plan was for us all to work and save up money to prolong the travel experience however after briefly flirting with the ideal of getting a job I realized I didn't want to work. I wanted to enjoy myself and was happy to come home when my money runs out which isn't going to be that long now! Matt has now found a job so I couldn't really justify staying in Sydney not working, spending money and not doing anything new so I had to decide what to do next. I had a couple of options,

To go with the girls to Melbourne but they were going there to work for a month so decided against that.
To go up the east coast on my own which I was happy to do
To go up the east coast with two Scouse guys that we bumped into again in the Cross after befriending them in Chang Mai, Thailand. These guys however have nearly died twice on their travels, once from going trekking into the jungle on their own getting lost and attacked by massive insects and also when trying to break 100mph on a moped whilst wasted, they didn't break 100mph! They did however break bones by driving straight into a central reservation! So that idea quickly left my head.
And the final option which I took was to meet up with my friend Craig ‘Angry’ Doyle who was in Cairns and going down the east coast on his own.

So the happy gang of seven all went separate ways yesterday it was pretty sad and felt like the end of a chapter especially as I might not see them all again for a long time. We said our goodbyes and I got a flight to Cairns which was pretty strange, I mean to travel 3 hours on a plane and to remain in the same country! Also nearly never made the flight thanks to this stupid old German couple but scraped into to airport with seconds to spare only to get straight thought priority cuing and get a window seat with extra leg room! Result!

I did manage to do a couple more new cool things before leaving Sydney. We did a Costal walk which started in Bondi Beach and went all the way to Coogie Beach passing loads of small beaches and stunning costal views on the way. It was quite cool to think we were on the eastern edge of this massive country! Also visited Summer Bay for all you Home and Away fans! Not really a thing I would do normally and I’m not a fan but the girls are massive fans so went along as it was something new. Was a really nice beach and recognized the beach and surf club immediately (well I used to watch it ok!). We did a climb up to the lighthouse which was cool. The girls were hoping to see some filming and some famous people but unfortunately none were there that day but didn't bother me as I have already seen some famous people which I don't think I have said previously? Well I saw Alex Dimitriades in the bank in Kings Cross, you now the one from Heartbreak High!? No? well his pretty famous in OZ but the main mega star I have seen is John Cleese! yes just walking down George Street. I was going to go over and do some silly Monty Python quote but resisted and just left him to enjoy his day without having some skinny blonde dufus going "We are the knights that say….NEE" in his ear!

We had an action packed last few days in the Cross, it’s was Kim's birthday so celebrated that all weekend. On Sunday we went to one of the small beach’s we saw on the costal walk and Katie got stung by a blue bottle jelly fish! She laughed about it to start off with but then reacted pretty badly and had to go to hospital as was having trouble breathing but it was only to be on safe side and she is now fine. You would think after finding out that over 60 people were stung that day that I wouldn’t go in the sea....well I did….but not for long! I was up to my waist and was permanently looking around just in case and then there it was a small blue neon blob floating and coming my way! It was still quite a bit away so started to retreat slowly but then a wave came and lost it! I crapped my self a little, started to panic look round me hoping it wouldn't go up my shorts! Then found it again just floating away to my left...I quickly exited the sea and went to the toilet!

Then on our last night (Monday) there was a riot on Kings Cross high street, think it was racial thing as there is a lot of it in Sydney at the moment and then later at three in the morning I heard lots of commotion and siren noises coming from outside and when I went out onto the balcony I found five fire engines and the restaurant opposite ablaze and smoke bellowing out of it. I found out that no one was in the building (apparently) so watched as the fireman went to work, went on most of the night and had trouble sleeping in a smoke filled room! So glad to leave the legendary Cross if I’m honest!

So I’m now in Cairns and what a weird place it is, not sure whether I have been in Sydney too long but it was a quite a change when I got off the plane. Not weird as in unpleasant, as I like it here already. Having had a brief walk around cairns I got the feeling of stepping back in time! The roads are lined with buildings all different, in size and shape but all have what I can only describe as a western saloon feel and look but now with a lick of colorful paint on them, I will try and take some picture to show what I mean. But I'm definitely looking forward to do some proper travelling again which haven't done for a while and have missed and as I’m back to what I call proper travelling I will be doing more stuff to talk about so expect some more regular updates! Already got a jungle bungy swing thing to do and a barrier reef dive booked!

Mr Bird

P.S Lots of bats here

Tuesday, 31 January 2006

Location: Australia

Happy Australia Day! Well it was actually on the 26th of January but I’m sure your not really that bothered about it or doubt you even knew about it anyway! So I will move on....

I would firstly like to send a shout out to two friends of mine, Ben Huntley and Dean Truebody who have both had birthdays since my last update..happy birthday guys sorry couldn't be there.

So this update is just a quickie to let you know what is happening in my life and the answer is not much. Currently STILL in Sydney and with the loonies in Kings Cross! There is still a gang of us but there have been a few changes. Craig and Becki have had enough of Sydney and have been to Melbourne and now on their way to Ulura. So that leaves Me, Matt, Dan, Katie, Anne, Sarah plus a new member Kimberly Verruca! Who is a friend of the girls and she arrived last Wednesday. We are all still looking for jobs, some more than other...well its hard when you have a choice between work or beach! Only Daniel has got a proper job as his experience is sought after over here. So not sure what's going to happen if me or Matt don't find jobs might even have to go are separate ways. Daniel has got a 3 month contract and I was never planning on working that long so I might be moving on alone but it’s not a problem plus I have friends up the coast I can stay with. I am getting to the point where I want to see a new place as I’ve seen most things here now but will be staying here at least one more week.

Well I know that you will all be distraught but I regret to inform you all that I was forced to shave off the potentially prize winning moustache! Yes I know it hurts me too but I had a couple of agency interviews so thought that they might of took one look at me and told me to do one! but don't worry there is still plenty of time so will be trying again very soon!

Have been doing the usual things going like to the beach etc and also found this cool outdoor swimming pool next to the Botanical Garden, actually in the harbour! A wicked place to go if you can’t be bothered with the beach but there is too much Speedos (budgie smuggling) being worn for my liking, not sure where to look there is so many! Not sure if it is a pick up place for men to meet men but either way it is a very friendly place!

And of course I celebrated Australia Day and it was pretty good. Australia Day Eve (or as we called it, Australia Dave) was supposed to be the big night however we spent most of the night in a queue to get in places so everybody got a bit annoyed so didn't have a great time but Australia day we were determined to get to places early, so we made a picnic (well Anne did) and took a pleasant stroll around Sydney taking in the atmosphere and stopping in plenty of pubs on the way. We ended up in Darling Harbour, which I would say is the equivalent to the waterfront back home but obviously a lot better, infact if it wasn't for the Opera house and bridge then I would say this harbour was better than circular quay. Anyway it was packed full of people as they had lots of things going on so we sat down had the cheese and cucumber sarnies then went into Home, a bar/club on the harbour, got a good space to watch everything and drank until our eyes bled! The harbour show was pretty good, sometimes got a bit boring with just these boats going round and round but some had people dressed up as kangaroos jumping around on them so that was funny, there was a big screen with famous Australians (stars from neighbours and home and away!) appearing now and again to waffle on about Australia. Also had some live music and then the finale was some fireworks which were really good, not 5star like NYE but competitive!

Well I have waffled on again so will leave it there apart from mentioning one downer. We had our room broken into last week and lots of stuff nicked. A camera, MP3 player, camcorder and some money. Obviously we have insurance but have lost quite a few memories! fortunately for me I had all my stuff on me so I didn't have anything taken apart from my rayband sunglasses which cost me 2 quid in Thailand!

Ok well goodbye for now

Mr Bird x

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Recent Messages

From Lloyd
Staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa- aaaaaaaay !!!!!!!!
From Bernard
Stay, stay, stay, stay!!!!
Response: seriously thinking about it!
From Jim
Sorry to hear about the bag theft mate. Did it happen when you and Craig were getting naked playing musical chairs?!!

In the meantime keep up the good work, sounds like you are drinking oz dry!

Ps, are you going to make it down to Melbourne before you leave to see some Commonwealth Games? Beaker may even get on TV.

See you soon,
Response: Nah mate, commonwealth games isnt a big deal in my book plus havent got much time left, will be home on the 5th of April! prepared to be naused off!
From Bernard

Why haven't you added any new photos?
Response: coz my camera got pinched horse head! although i will be posting one of me surfing shortly!
From Slightly disgruntled
Can't believe you stole my head fact and passed it off as your own. Bet you don't post this one Rossatron! xxx
Response: tut tut tut Lois, no need to be jealous of my immence knowledge. Your head is probably about 10 pounds by the way! x
From chimpo
Hello birdo

I liked the Muzzer, grow it back!!! when you back? we need a big drink!! f--k POO SHIT and VAGINA....i put those words in just to see if you would post them on your site!! all the best
The Chimp
Response: Back early April my little monkey friend and the answer looks like yes i would!
From Bernard

What hell are you on about, "think it was a racial thing as there is a lot of it in Sydney" it's one of the most peaceful multicutral places I've ever been
Response: Bernard think you should read the papers mate.
From OLiver
Ross me boy ,If i`m going to continue to log in and read this litarary master piece , could you post some photos of the honeys on the beach (bikinis optional). Keep yourself safe. Olly (jealous older cousin)
Response: ha ha your request seems a very reasonable one so i will get right on it. Cheers Olly
From Knapper
Hello Birdo, first things first “The moustache!” At a first glance I thought that you had two large, furry, ginger caterpillars crawling across your upper lip leaning in to give each other a kiss! If the tash is to stay I recommend an orange crayon to fill the gap in the middle, ha ha! Seriously though, top updates and photos – keep on having a great time Knapper
Response: Well you will be glad to hear that the ginger caterpillars have crawled off! Thanks for your message mate, hope your getting on well in the fire brigade/service!? speak soon
From deano
well ross what can i say. my reasons for taking so long were simple-deano and computers just do not mix. either that or just blame nob head denning.stayed awake and read everything buddy and ya maybe just a little jealous.fabulous pics,ll have to go a long way to catch me up though mate.not that brown yet.birthday thursday so out for a meal [sad you wont be there but its cool] anyway-listen to no one son.mustache great hair -getting there. no one understands people like us ross-there scared of people who are different. say hello to the gang if your all still together.keep up the good work.peace out.much love.
Response: Finally some contact from you! Glad Denning has got off his skinny arse and done some work! Wise words Dean as always. Happy birthday for Thursday mate sorry i cant be there i will try and phone you on the day. Keep in touch! laters.
From Wasfat Matt
Some smashing Photos Ross but that ginger Moustache is plain wrong!!
Response: Just in the early stages, come on it will look good in time....i think.
From The bear
Lose the moustache birdo............FACT.
Response: Cant give up just yet! Anyway it may look stupid but i'm already liking it and smoothing it whilst in thought!
From stinch
Beakers a leg-end!!!!!!
hope he hasn't caught anything from those lady boys in bangkok!!!
Hope your ok
City for europe!!
Response: what?
From pia
hey Ross!

How are you?? You havent really updated your webpage lately. I am working almost 24 hours a day.. enjoy!!!
Response: I'm still alive! Just been having a wicked time in OZ over the festive period plus Lois came out to meet me last 2 weeks so havent had time to do an update. I will try and do one soon stay tuned x
From wayne
Hello Ross, willis and friends
Great updates mate still laughing about the public swimming pool story. Your hair is looking a right state by the time you get back its going to be massive i will give you the money to get it cut elsewhere coz its going to scare me.

p.s Your a thieving robbing gipsy bastard you stoll beaker out of my car about 3yrs ago but glad to see he's havin a great time.
Response: Well Powell, 2 things...
1. I got my hair cut on NYE and it was a proper cut for a change! and not a lego man cut that i normally get off you!
2. Its a different Beaker the one you LENT me i gave away! sorry.
From Jimbo
To Ross, beaker & friends,

Wow, looks like you are having a great time. Humorous & informative updates as well as some first-rate pictures. Keep up the good work!

Bit worried about your weight loss and hair gain, though I'm sure Lois tells you that its what's inside that counts!

Good luck in Oz mate, I reckon you will have a night to remember down in Sydney on New Year's Eve, enjoy yourselves.

Anyway, I'm off to meet Deano at the lamb now, you must be sooo envious!! Speak to you in the new year and keep safe.
Jim x

Response: Ah you have located my website! sorry didnt get your email address before i went.
I'm having a wicked time cheers and dont worry i have had my hair cut now as it was offensive!
From pia
Hey Guys!!
Hope you are enjoying the lovely weather in Australia. Here we are in the middle of a snow storm and it is freezing.
Miss you
xx Pia
Response: Ha ha!
Sorry missing you 2!
From Chimpo
Best Photo Ever - The flashing
Response: Thought you might like that one! Do you know him? i got one of a monkey eating an ice lolly! i'll try to put that on next for you.
From Loissington Summeril
There was a young traveller called Ross,
Who left me alone at a loss,
But when he got drunky,
Turned into a monkey,
And admitted that Lo was the boss.
Response: Poetic genius! Not true though as i never get drunk!
From Mr Owen
Mr Bird,
Excellent writing skills! Enjoy your regular updates - sounds like a f*****g marvellous adventure. Good luck for the rest and Happy Birthday....
Response: Cheers mate.
From Your Sweet
Hey Angel,

Your updates are so entertaining and the photos are great!! You look really different even though you've only been gone a short while - get your hair cut you hippy!

Take care babes.


P.S - Matts sharks tooth is a bit gay! Can we have a piccie of you in your hair band please?
Response: Glad you like my web page! Keep looking out for new photos/updates.

My hair is getting pretty stupid but the plan was not to cut it until Lois gets here and i'm sticking to it stupid or not! I'll see what i can do about the hand band piccie.
From Knapper
Hey Birdy

This is quite a site, though aren't you suposed to be travelling around and not sat at a computer! Good work though and great to see some of the things that you have been talking about in your updates. Hope all is going well for you out there and you carry one enjoying it all.

Speak soon Knapper

PS Tell Willis dig that shark tooth neck thing he's got going on! And say hello too
Response: Cheers Knapper will do!
From chimpo
matts chain is horrendous
Response: Agreed