i have been in this area for some few months now. I have experienced a time changing experience.I have missed the warm sunshine of my country but i am not to give up , i will make it through..i am taking a break for abit but i will return to gve you the lowdown of my experiences in the uk..
Location: birmingham, UK
hmm.. i needto look for something to say here.wwait a minute and I will give t yo you.
I will return ..I am tired right now but i will let you know whats going on
Yesterday was a day that started out as a normal day.
We had several check ins and the usual stuff.Hmm. Come the evening.
I rang up my girlfriend and we gossipped about things, life and what all women do.
I had nearly forgotten that we had a bush dinner for a hungarian , married to a jap with 2 children. So i dressed up with a small vest and a skirt very light one, knowing I would do my normal rounds then see this family.
I did exactly that and I have this wonderful family who really wanted me to stay with them but I was also worried with the lets call him Hagar , Family. And also I ahd some good travel agents who we had previously been having laughs of my escapades with wildlife.
Anyway, so I tell Suja, hey , let me dash to the dam and check out the situation and then I will be back.
In the car, vroom, vroom, to the dam, I sit there and we talk about life , work, staff, you name it. Its getting late , and the children are dozing off. So I says to them, lets pack up and we can have an aperitif in the camp.
So Loitaman - guide, and his clients leave and I am in front of them.
In my head, ahh, the dam looks dry, so why dont i just cut across it and get back to camp.
There i was singing to myself , all of a sudden, the car stopped and started sinking into the mud. The daft thing. It is black cotton soil, so it looks like a cake. Dry on top, wet underneath.
I went into 4wd and I realized I was just digging my self into a deeper trench.
Clever arent I..So there I am and i am yelling for help... Fez, Fez, Fez.. help me.
So the utility car came to fetch me.
I went back to the fireplace and I had not eated. The clients had finished everything. I had thought the bar was still open but Loitaman had carried everything with me.
I tell Fez, Leeand Les and Mwangi- the gardener , we best go and see if we can remove the car.
SO with a shovel, a pressure lamp, and KKK, we go to rescue, KAD.
Hmm. didnt we all have mud on us. Me , miss prim and proper with my sombrero, had mud all over. It sprayed us. Then KKK got stuck. Clever me again.Had I carried my phone.. no.!!!!.
Then the worse thing , the fire was dying and there was a pack of hyenas who were just watching ous, rubbing their paws, waiting for the it to die then they attack us.The area was pitch black.
So fez called out to loitamann and he came woth a landrover and drove straight into that same path.
So now how many cars were stuck .. 3 of them.. ANd now I was getting so cold. I moved between the 3 cars trying to get some warmth. My last resort was to huddle myself btwn the dashboard and the seat and coil into a foetal position.
After 3 and I/2 hours , we had not done anything. And then into the dark, we kept seeing eyes following us.
Finally help arrived with Njogu and and i had to rush back to the camp. I went to the fireplace and got on the phone .We woke up every living male to go and hoist the cars. Let me just say, my entire body looked as if I had had a mud bath or I had wallowed in the mud. Needless to say, my bath tub resembled a lake itself.
I still cannot feel my legs right now,they are still cold, I have a terrible cough but I am smiling.
My poor staff came back at 2 am after rescuing the cars.
Well , My new name is calamity Jane.
Now I have to write this page and not take too long as the other time I had written such a long journal only to be logged out.
Alot has been happening and right now , I am not sure even where to start.
Did I ever tell you about my film crew who has thus returned to make a recce and are now coming back in august to stay in the in the bundus...until October. Poor guys. They dont know what is in store for them. This time round , I was not the guide.I have swamped with work and I had someone else take over.So when they were being charged by chuma or when they had to climb up a tree because some elephant was on the chase, I was back in my camp, enjoying my madness sipping my fruit punch.
Anyway they will be building a community lodge farther north,where there is absolutely no communication, you beat with a drum..I am joking, but it is just remote. Poor chaps , had a culture shock but it is all for a good cause so we all wish them luck.
After they left, we had another bunch of dutch film crew shooting the suzuki vitara - new one, around the camp.
Goodness me, I was surrounded by big white trucks, green trucks, grey trucks, I am telling you i felt as if I was in hollywood.
We started with casting some the staff and we chose Papa and Patrick.
Now Papa is old man . the scene is there are poachers and and they are chased by the rangers in the suzuki.
Come the day which was 11th - Papa were askd to wear the most dirty clothes.Mud was applied on them, and they were just murky. Poor staff .. They woke up at 6.30.am. Dressed up and they were driven to the park. In haste because they had had no tea, Papa was given a bread roll and a packet of juice. Let me tell you.They ran across the dam, across the acacia trees, scractched by the thorns, thrown on the floor and take one , take two until 23. He came back darker than he was, he has sworn he will never be in a tv commercial ever again.And worse still, he still had the bread roll in his pocket..He said his tongue was hanging out like a dog.He is still lamenting about his stardom.
As forthe animals , I am not sure if they know what hit them.
As for me, I laughed so hard,till my ribs hurt so much.
And my adventure. We have a new platform right now . I was planning a surpirse with a swiss group we had. No body knew where the place is. So I took them there. While we were taking the food, out comes an elephant.
Me being me, because I am trying to compete with Bertie, he is becoming too good, I am getting green with envy, I decided to hide in a bush and take a close up photo of the elephant.
It was a female . Little did I know that Daddy Ellie, Child Ellie , was in the vicinity.Hmm. I took 3 pictures before Mama Ellie decided that thats enough photos and since she is not related to Bertie, she went for me.
Through the trees, and the bushes and up the platform in a speed I myself did not know that I was capable of..I flew and the foolish Mama elephant was just doing a mock charge. But I was not going to wait and see how minced meat I would ahve been.
And you cant believe , I mentioned to Bertie, all he did was harupmpg.. " you are getting better" . If you cant win them, join them. I think he is getting scared.
Anyway, I gotta go.
SO watch out for some suzuki commercial. I will be the one driving the car..
i know you have been fretting around wondering what has happened to me but let me tell you, I am a busy woman and my job can be very demanding..Yeah rite. Sundowners on some hill on some night, sundowner near a river on other nights, partying all night on some dam somewhere..
Nahhh I am here and just too busy ...Sincerely.
Anyway Iam alive , kicking and surviving.
To let you know , I have acquired a new knowledge sorry I have acquired a new career.Florence Nightingale is my name and I am the guardian angel of some lonesome dove who decided to suffer from heatstroke and had to ferried to nairobi and i ahd the unfortunate to be the one to go with Lonesome Dove.
The poor guy has been given a second chance to live and he ought to be very thankful for that.
I know, I need to elaborate but I wont. So there.
Anyway, another film cree was here , part of those who were here in March. Dont joke.. If I am not in some UK channel, then they did not like my face and the way each time they were filiming i had to pass deliberately and wave so that they could see me.
Currently for those who will be watching Suzuki , I am in a car advert driving across the prairies and cruising .. Dont joke. \Please I do not do autographs on emails. You need to come and I sign them here. And I am not one of those cheap, funny weird artists. I have my values.
My head has grown so big ..
So they were taking pictures of some animals drinking some water and there I am with a AK 47 , and I shoot them..
Well those animals , I had shot an elephant and it went shoosh, whoosh, plomp.. into the swimming pool.
Gotcha.. Of course it was a inflated one. I work in a conservancy mind you. Ohh I can see your eyes bulging out.
Now you want to strangleme but too bad.
My next adventure was that I smelt the leopards pee and I ran for ly life to my house and I was quaking in my pants.
Right now it is quiet very dry.
Ok, I have rambled and gambled and rabbitted.
See you all next time.
Please watch out for miss thang on the tv commercial.
Ello, ello, anybody home.
I am back but not with a lot. I had visualized myself on some sunny coast with a margarita with Mia rubbing lotion on my back, but alas, fate had another thing planned for me.
So in a nutshell, I am still in the bundus doing the same old. I am starting to think my gay radar has followed me from wherever to here as I have just come from having a pink weekend down here.
Alot about right now, is nothing has happened really.
What I have discovered is that we have within our reach, very lovely areas whereby from right now,if I would like to unwind as I wanted today seeing that people who mattered were not happy with me , so I found some spring in the forest and thats my new venue for the guests and honeymooners. It is such a beautiful area and I have tried to enclose some pictures which would reflect where the place is.
BUT, elephandts frequent the areaso woebetide you , if you are caught on the ground.If any of you have heard of speedy gonzales , thats what you will be.
If all goes well , I will soon be sipping my margarita on the sunny coast .
Keep on keeping on and catch you later
yes, yes, yes,
Are you all stewing over the fact i have not been writing too much.
I am a busy lady who does not always sit here and write in the journal.
Let me call this guy Johhni Walker Black as he loved his whisky finally left us, very sad and looking forward to coming to Lewa again. Ducky and the rest were sad to leave and I and the Masseuse had offers to be bought houses in some hill and i had promised to throw them over the cliff.
Now let me shed some light.
JW owns a mortuary and he has been married for 30 something years or so. First time in Africa , he got a massage that left him proposing to the Masseuse and since he has never seen a beautiful country and land like this.He fell in love.
right noe, poor chap, i think he will want to return back someday and settle but the problem here is that he is really from old school and from the South of US.
Anyway, my people were happy.
One guy..I will call him Rare Scotch - RS, was the oldest in the group.
RS was sleeping in the last night, and in the middle of the night, felt some thing land on his head. Yes, no what goes through your head, a spider, a bat, a bushbaby,..so that is what RS - 84 had is his mind.He considered waking up Pow but Pow was busy sleeping and snoring on the other side, and also he may have moved and he would have been attacked by this creature that was sitting on his head.
So slowly and stealthily, he decided , a man gotta do what a man got to do, and he reached out, and gingerly felt his head.at that moment , his heart was nearly failing him, his insides were turned inside out, and he had broken out to a cold sweat.
He finally got the guts to feel this creature.
Only to discover he was touching his second pillow that had fallen on his head
He he he
HOME,back to the dust , back to the rich and the famous and back to my lovely creeping crawling creatures that prowl around the world in 365days.
Yes, i am now dealing with the same clients some of whom I met.
Work has becoming out of my ears,and I mean , my ears ever since I arrived.
Suja is at home ,herding the cows , and I am toiling , ohh , can you hear me complaining , toiling and entertainining and all.
You know there is never a dull moment in the ranch.
And indeed, there isnt.
Camel riding with the zoo group, we had cussing fromthe animals , people and all from the time they were on the camel and until they stepped down.The camels were cussing at each other and the people wanted to cry and laugh and the entire conservancy was just like a chaotic riot.
Then last night,,
Because it is too hot, some people take a lot of water.
So Waduck decided she wanted to take a potty call.Please note they had been trailing the 3 brothers - cheetahs , and the cheetahs were trailing a herd of zebras.Unfortunately for these rascals, there were no babies around .And so the cheetahs were weighing their possibilities.
Waduck decides well since the cheetahs are not moving, well then , Let me do a potty call near the bush that was on the right.
Squatted and did her thing,as she was standing up getting ready to get to the jeep, suddenly she heard, hooves runnig , then at the same time, 70 zebras dashed in front of her, and the cheetahs on their heel.
Can you just imagine.......
Geez..so then of course allthe jeeps started following the hunt, and poor girl waslost.She went into autopilot and climbed the jeep and sat quietly.All this was captured on film..
You have been waiting for me to sort out where I am.
I had a free time,lost my voice and hated america especially during the last days.I was sick like a dog and just wanted to getout the pollen country.
You would think that I was much wiser , hmm that is the correct phrase.Think
Anyway, our final day of presentations was in Philly and by jove , wasnt it jubilation despite being voiceless , i was in sheer ectasy.
Sujales , did the presentation , I went for the hot toddies - because I understand it is good for the throat.
After that, i am not sure if I ever managed to tell you , that we are looking at the next Tiger Woods - in the form of Sujales,the Masai moran from Laikipia.
And I , I am and will be his caddie, when he becomes rich and famous.
We dined with the famous over the couple of days, I met this baseball guy, dont ask me names and all , and we were in this old refined restaurant and I was in awe at that time.
I was actually sharing dinner with another famous artist who is 85 years old and he is such a darling and he kept on telling us allsorts of stories.
The day grew closer and on the 6th I left America.
Actually , there is talk of another trip in November...YIKES
Location: Coulmbia, USA
My dears..hmm..first of all I am gnawing my teeth, gnashing my gum..is that what it is called , I am not sure, English is my second language, and it did arrive on a some forsaken ship from some foreign country ..I am too old to remember the history .. but yes..I ahve been doing all that, gnashing, gashing, gnawing and you name it BECAUSE the foolish us network acalled tmobile doe not work in this small town.It is so small that we were surprised to find it the most cleaniest airport or airstrip according to american standards ever.White , pristine, and all.
Ok.. pls note the spelling msitakes.I have drank a large glass of red wine and my fingers are a bit slow.
Anyway, apart from all that,it is a very beautiful town, very southern, and in fact Suja had a talk today and i fell short of telling him that below our sign , he hould have stressed we were from a Southern Baptist Church in Kenya- as if we have some thing like that at home and we would have had alot of donations coming forth.
BUT, we did not.
Anyway i must tell you that we are staying- unfortunately we are leaving tomorrow to North Carolina, but it is the mostess beautifullest housest we lived in.Situated near a lake, I ahd the pleasure of waking up or actually not sleeping after some bullfrog decided to sing the symphony for us , the geese were out there and believe it or not, there was a domestic goose- ugly goose taking care of the young chicks.She is like a nanny to them.And our hosts were the bomb.
We had dinner today AND depressing or relieving it may be to Connery, they had no MARGARITAS. I would have killed them. I drank rum and coke until caffenine was coming out of my ears.
Then someone has been to North Carolina and they told us that there do not serve alcohol in Asheboro or Greensboro or whichever boro it is. My eyes popped out and Sujas face fell.
Hmm.. there are many ways of killing a rat. I will sort that out tomorrow. I ahve what the americans call a go away or to go cup which I can put some wine ther e for my journey 4hours tomorrow.
As it is going to 1 am right now, I need to bid all my fans goodnight.
As for those who will be receiving some frying pan on their heads when they meet me at the airport, che sera sera..
And finally for some who are anxious that I may remain in the States.. guess what , it is 6 days 5 hours before I leave the States.. and I AM NOT COUNTING..